Selfish vs. Self-Satisfying: Key to Career Satisfaction

When I tell people my degree is in Engineering Psychology, they usually give me a funny look. Some attempt to crack a joke, i.e. “What do you do, J.T.? Try to figure out the minds of engineers?”

(FYI - In case you are wondering, it's simply a focus on human factors in design.)

One of the most valuable lessons I learned while earning this degree was it’s easier to adapt design to people than it is to adapt people to design. And, while I never went on to work as an actual engineer, I feel the degree is finally getting some use in my current profession. I'm not sure my parents, professors, and alma mater see it that way, but I do – and that’s all that matters.

The degree actually helped me build my career coaching methodology. Anyone who has worked with me will tell you; I take a very mathematical-like approach to job search. I like to say I "engineered" the process to ensure consistency in results.

I'm a logic girl - plain and simple.

As a result, I'm not one of those career coaches who profess, "Do what you love!" You'll never, ever hear me coach someone to, "Follow your heart," unless their heart is also providing a carefully planned strategy for success with a measurable outcome to match.

#1 Goal: Be Self-Satisfying

I will admit, there is one thing a person must possess for my methodology to work properly: a firm belief in the need to be self-satisfying. If you want to find true professional satisfaction, you must understand your one and only goal is to find a career that provides what is known as “intrinsic motivation.” In other words, the career must be satisfying internally. A lot easier said than done, right? In my experience, most people fail to ever have the kind of professional satisfaction they want and deserve not because they didn’t have the right tools, resources or opportunities, but because they mistakenly confused "self-satisfying" with "selfish." Let me explain...

We Had It Right As Kids - Then Society Threw Us Off-Track

When we were little, we were happy and satisfied doing things that pleased us. Just watch one of the millions of YouTube videos of kids making themselves laugh and we're instantly reminded of the easier times in our lives. But then, as we got older, we started to get coached on the evils of being selfish. We were forced to learn to "share" and "be humble." We were told not to do things that were “self-indulgent” or “self-serving.” In short, we were coached to act in a way others would find acceptable.

While I think it was good we were taught to be self-aware and to recognize how our actions were perceived by others, I also think learning this mindset did a huge disservice to our professional selves. In an effort to be seen as "selfless," we were literally coached to build careers to impress others. Meaningful work was defined by what people thought of it. In doing so, we stopped trying to make the only person who's feelings matter in the situation happy - the person that has to do the actual work: ourselves.

Next thing you realize, you are in your 30’s with golden handcuffs, a personal life that is out-of-whack, and a deep self-loathing. (Oh sorry, that’s my story, which you can read here…) What I mean is, in our effort not to be selfish, we end up miserable. For this logical, engineer-by-trade gal, that just doesn’t add up.

Self-Satisfying = Being A Better Person

Choosing a career that makes us feel good isn’t selfish, it’s self-satisfying. When we choose a career that matters to us, we make a decision to take care of ourselves in a way few do. The upside is being self-satisfying makes us stronger human beings. When we opt to be self-satisfying, we are in a better place. We have more strength and power to help others.

We become better people.

In the video below, I make the argument for embracing your desire to be self-satisfying and pursue a career that matters to you.

I’d love to hear from those of you reading this.

What have you done to step up and take ownership of your professional satisfaction? What are you doing to be more self-satisfying?

If you want to read more of what I've written, check out my articles on Inc.com.

P.S. - First time reading my posts? Thanks for taking the time to stop by! Not only do I write for Linkedin, but I'm also founder of a popular career advice site,CAREEREALISM,and currently run the career coaching program,CareerHMO. I hope you'll check them both out!

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CAREEREALISM’s Founder, J.T. O’Donnell is a nationally syndicated career expert and workplace consultant who helps American workers of all ages find greater professional satisfaction. Her book, CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to a Satisfying Career, outlines her highly successful career-coaching methodology. Purchase her e-book of CAREEREALISM for only $9.95 by clicking here !

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