Some therapists are like restaurants with extensive menus, but they can only make one dish. The menu looks impressive:
➡️ Trauma
➡️ Confidence building
➡️ Anxiety
➡️ Panic attacks
➡️ Depression
➡️ Relationships
➡️ Self-esteem
➡️ Burnout
➡️ Grief
➡️ Anger
➡️ …it’s a big menu
Visit their website, and you will find plenty of possibilities. But sit down and place your order, and no matter what you ask for, the same dish emerges from the kitchen because that’s the only recipe they know.
➡️ The model never changes.
➡️ The process is always the same.
➡️ The tools, if there are any, don’t adapt.
➡️ The approach doesn’t flex.
Your story changes, of course, as do your challenges and needs, but the intervention doesn’t, and then, when it doesn’t quite fit, you frame the problem as yours:
➡️ “I wasn’t ready.”
➡️ “I needed to trust the process.”
➡️ “I was resistant.”
➡️ “I needed to go deeper.”
However, your resistance isn’t the issue – therapist rigidity is.
Effective therapy is tailored, as opposed to one-size-fits-all, and offers flexibility, range, adaptability, and skill because no two clients have the same issues and history.
No two situations call for the same sequence of interventions, and no two people will respond the same way to the same tool.
Impactful practitioners have depth and range. They know multiple recipes and when to adjust the heat, the timing, and the ingredients.
➡️ Sometimes a client needs pace.
➡️ Sometimes patience.
➡️ Sometimes challenge.
➡️ Sometimes safety.
➡️ Sometimes strategy.
➡️ Sometimes support.
➡️ Sometimes combinations at once.
The art of therapy is knowing which and when. Instead of clients adapting to the process, it should be the other way around.
Otherwise, they are not being offered what they ordered, but what the therapist can rustle up, and that’s not enough for real change, and it certainly isn’t what was ordered.
“Your lasagne. Enjoy.”
“But I ordered the chilli prawns?”
“Indeed, but the lasagne comes highly recommended.”
“That’s as may be, but as I say, it isn’t what I ordered.”
“Your lasagne…”
“Please bring me what I ordered.”
“Your…”
“If you say lasagne once more!”
“Your lasagne…”
“That’s it. I’m leaving!”