Build contextual humility

- Humility has an image problem. Many people think that being humble means that they're less confident, or is a person with low self-esteem; actually the opposite is true. Only the most confident people can comfortably ask questions and receive feedback. Getting this right is important, because when you demonstrate humility appropriately, you enhance your cultural agility and your career. There are a couple different ways to achieve this. The first is to become comfortable asking feedback-fostering questions. If you're new to a culture, ask someone you trust and someone who's knowledgeable about that culture this question: how do you think I could have been even more effective in this meeting, presentation, or whatever they observed you doing. One time I was giving a presentation to a Finnish group and noticed that the speaker before me fostered engagement, but that I didn't. Rather than blaming the audience or my American accent, I asked for feedback. My Finnish host shared that when I asked questions, I used a slight up turn of my voice, like, what's happening in this graph? That's enough for Americans to hear a question to be answered. The Finnish audience? They thought my question was rhetorical. I was coached to change it to, I'd like to know what you think is happening in this graph, who can offer an interpretation? That worked. Asking for advice conveys your confidence in your ability. It also shows an honest interest in learning the nuances of the culture. Practice asking feedback-fostering questions to get over the fear of being evaluated. It's always good to start in a low-risk setting until it becomes more comfortable. Another way to build humility is to become more comfortable praising others and asking for assistance when appropriate. Praising someone does not diminish your own worth or achievements. It's not a comparison. It's an acknowledgement that others have something special to offer. When you offer praise, be authentic and use language like, "I appreciate how well you," whatever they're doing well. When you ask for assistance, make it about the context. Something like, "Since you have experience consulting in this country, do you have any insight on?" whatever they have insight on. Last semester, I asked my college-aged neighbor for her advice on a project I was thinking about assigning to my undergraduates. She's a good student and understands her generation. Her advice was great. Her suggestions helped the success of the project. I also use this approach with clients. I'll ask something like, "Since you know what works with your leaders of your company, what is the best way for me to present the results from this survey?" It doesn't reduce your credibility to want to learn about the context. It enhances it. Whenever you praise or ask for feedback or assistance, be authentic and follow the cultural norms. Remember that showing humility is often just finding ways to communicate your interest in learning in a way that's comfortable for you. The added benefit of showing cultural humility, you'll be the person everyone wants to work with.