13 Reasons why and its potential for honest conversations with teens...

As many of you may know, Netflix has recently released a controversial TV series ‘13 Reasons Why’. This TV adaptation of a hugely successful novel (co-produced by Selena Gomez) has captured the intrigue of teens and adults alike (myself included). I would like to tell you that as a kids’ and teens’ specialist I watched this show simply for research purposes but the reality is I heard about the show from a friend a couple of weeks ago and immediately binge watched the entire series (13 episodes!!) in 3 consecutive nights. Pathetic? Yes. But telling to the encapsulating nature of the storyline? Absolutely. I was so engrossed in the world of these teens and just had to know more. Having worked with teens a lot over the past year, the team at Sherbert know how tough life can be for them – pressures, fall outs, name calling, bullying... This show depicts these struggles, warts and all. Without giving too much away here’s a synopsis of the plot from a 14-year-old that we spoke with…

“There's this boy called Clay Jenson and he comes home one day to find a box with a map and 13 tapes in it. He listens to tape one and finds out that these tapes were made by Hannah Baker (his friend from school that committed suicide). On each tape is a reason why she killed herself. Basically, Hannah would make 1 tape about 1 person and how they killed her, if you end up with the tapes that means you're on them somewhere. Clay is trying to work through the pain of hearing all the pain and stress Hannah would have been going through. So yeah, he's listening to these to work out why she did what she did. It's a show that if you start you can't stop once you find out that she killed herself and these tapes tell you why. You immediately want to know why and to know all the reasons you need to watch it all! It's so good as well because you get to see both sides of all of this - Hannah's grief that she's going through at school and how all of her friends lead her to this, and how Clay is dealing with listening to this and his actions that come from it.”

Teens (and some adults) are engaging with this show on an emotional level and the grief and drama surrounding it is fascinating for them. Critics of the show claim that it glamourises suicide and its aftermath and that it doesn’t truly portray the devastation that follows an incident like this. I would disagree, the act of suicide is portrayed in a graphic and realistic fashion without sugar coating, and aptly captures the heartbreak of a family left behind. Yes, the show is full of drama but this is what captures teens attention! The true desolation that often follows suicide is something very difficult to capture on screen, especially in a way that isn’t too uncomfortable for a teenage viewer to observe. What this show really helps to do is highlight (albeit dramatically) many relatable and sensitive issues for teens today – ‘slut shaming’, bulling, non-consensual sex, drink driving… Those in the media who oppose the show on the grounds of ‘immorality’ or exposing teenagers to things at too young an age may need to take a better look at the youth of today and realise that these issues are not unique to a fictional world behind a camera lens. This show has the potential to open a dialogue with teens about some very serious issues – both in school and at home. Reports in the media and stories from school/other parents have created a fear culture amongst some parents and an “if her/his friends are watching it, it must be ok” attitude amongst others. The producers of this show packed no punches in their portrayal of teenage life and if I’m fully honest, I’m not 100% sure if our 14-year-old consultant should be watching such content. But the reality is that she, and many others like her, is watching it and may have questions about it that adults could really help with, if the dialogue existed. Furthermore, this dialogue should fuel more accessible support for teens who feel adrift and may be considering taking their own lives – removing the stigma and helping teens to realise they are not alone.

This show could be branded a ‘revenge suicide story’, and whilst no one should ever be blamed for someone else taking their own life, this show helps to demonstrate to teens how their behaviour towards someone can have a detrimental impact, even things that they don’t see as being in any way significant. I would hope that this show might make some teenagers more socially aware, and stop and think in future before they say or do certain things that may hurt another person’s feelings.

I will finish by saying that although I think there are some really thought provoking learnings for teens in this show, the content can be quite shocking at times and I would advise that parents of tweens/early teens consider watching the show before allowing/disallowing their child to follow suit. Some might feel that this content is inappropriate at this stage and it may be helpful in explaining to their child exactly why they would like them not to watch it when so many of their friends may be allowed. In the words of the 14-year-old fan that we spoke to… 

“I think some episodes you could show younger ones because it gives across such a strong message of bullying and I think younger ones would learn a lot from it but overall I think it’s for 13+ because in other episodes you watch rape and suicide - you watch how she does it at the end and I don't think that's suitable for younger ones. It gives across the message so well though I would recommend it to anyone.”

Written By Grainne - Research Exec at Sherbert