#18 You’re Not Afraid of Failing. You’re Afraid of Looking Like You Failed

Let’s be real: most of us aren’t just afraid of failing. We’re afraid of failing publicly. We’re afraid of what people will say, how we’ll look, what they’ll think. We're afraid of looking inexperienced, messy, unprepared, or simply… "not good enough."

Sound familiar?

This subtle, socially-driven fear is one of the biggest silent killers of potential. You tell yourself you're waiting for the right time. You say, “I'll launch when it’s perfect,” or “Let me just take one more course before I post online.” But deep down, it’s not about preparation. It’s about protection—from embarrassment, from being seen trying and not winning.

Why This Fear Is So Dangerous

The fear of looking stupid is powerful because it's tied to something primal: our need to belong.

When we fail, especially in front of others, it feels like rejection. It triggers shame, and our brains interpret that shame as danger. But in today's world, this fear doesn’t protect you. It limits you.

Here’s what it might be stopping you from doing:

• Speaking up in meetings

• Starting your dream business

• Asking for a raise or promotion

• Launching that podcast or writing that blog

• Showing up consistently on social media

• Sharing your real thoughts, ideas, or personality

You play small, hoping to stay safe. But all you do is stay invisible.

Everyone Looks Stupid Before They Look Smart

Want the truth? Every expert you admire once felt like a fraud. Every confident speaker once stumbled over their words. Every successful business owner once had 3 likes on their post.

You don’t get to skip the messy middle. Confidence doesn’t come before you start. It comes because you started.

Reframe it like this: if you’re not feeling awkward or unsure, you’re not growing. You’re coasting.

So what if you look silly for a minute? So what if someone doesn’t “get it”? You’re the one building something. You’re the one daring to evolve. That’s courageous.

The Antidote: Build a Muscle for Risk

Here's what to focus on instead:

1. Start Before You’re Ready

Perfectionism is fear in disguise. Launch the project, make the call, hit publish. Get messy. That’s where the learning happens.

2. Get Comfortable With Discomfort

Growth is uncomfortable. But discomfort isn’t danger—it’s data. Let it inform you, not stop you.

3. Normalize Failing in Public

Fail forward. Fail visibly. It builds trust, relatability, and resilience. You’re not meant to impress everyone—you’re meant to impact someone.

4. Surround Yourself With Expanders

Hang out with people who are a few steps ahead. They’ve failed too. But they kept going. Their courage will rub off on you.

5. Ask: “What’s the Worst That Can Happen?”

Often, the worst-case scenario isn’t that bad. Embarrassment fades. But regret? Regret lingers.

Final Thought

What if you gave yourself permission to be a beginner?

To stumble, to experiment, to get it wrong—because you trust you’ll get it right eventually.

What if you stopped worrying about looking stupid… …and started worrying about playing it safe, staying stuck, and wasting your potential?

You weren’t born to be liked by everyone. You were born to be bold.

So take the step. Speak up. Launch messy. Try again.

Because the truth is: nobody’s watching as closely as you think. And the people who matter? They’re cheering you on.

Let this be the month you stop letting fear drive the car. Let your mission, your desire, and your future lead the way.

You’ve got this!

XO

Savitha

— What’s one thing you’ve been holding back on because of the fear of looking silly? I’d love to hear—and cheer you on.