A Dumb Question to Ask an Entrepreneur

“How’s it going?"

Seemed so innocuous, the first thousand or so times I asked it. Just curious. But 19 out of 20 times the answer was meaningless. Killing it, or crushing it, or whatever the expression of the moment was.

It wasn’t until I took a few bruises of my own, unable to close that one deal that you banked it all on, failing to raise money for something I believed in, not seeing the world unfold according to plan — that I realized why the question is inane.

How can you answer, with a straight face, how it’s going when at the same time you:

* Only have a few months of cash left, but are starting to see the first real signs you might be on to something

* Just had the hire you fought to win walk out on you, but are reading tweets from people who think the thing you just gave them is their <3 <3 <3

* See all the arrows pointing down, but someone smart is taking you seriously on giving you millions of dollars

* Had yet another article written about how you’re disappointing everyone, while you’re spending every day working on making your corner of the world a little bit better

* You can’t even get the numbers, so you have no idea how it is actually going!

The “how’s it going” question is impossible to answer because almost every startup is both thriving and dying at the same time.

Thriving because it is in the small minority defying gravity simply by continuing to exist, let alone grow — and dying because it would take so little to turn off the music with no chair left for you.

I found that entrepreneurs’ answers, including mine when I sit in that seat, depend more on personality than on any actual facts about how it’s going. And I was one of many who exhaled when I read Joe Fernandez’s piece, lifting the mask that entrepreneurs (and, often, so many others) wear to pretend we’re succeeding, instead of asking for the support of those around us — support that our families, friends, colleagues, and even strangers would be more than happy to give.

I’ll try to avoid asking the dumb question from now on — but I also invite anyone out there who feels like they’re having one of those days, to reach out or at least if you happen to see me that day, share. It’s part of the path.

[Also posted to my blog.]

Photo: Altrendo via Getty Images

"thriving and dying at the same time"...yep! Last month was my best month. Now...everything has changed. I have to start over.

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I do not own a small business, yet, but as a writer and musician constantly looking to get my foot in the door with my work, I can absolutely relate to this.

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This is a great article that speaks volume to me. After being in existence for almost 6 months now; I have become accustom to masking my fears of surviving and always respond optimistically instead of asking for help. Help entrepreneurs chase their dreams! http://igg.me/at/TheTeachers-Shoppe/x/4783085

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Yes, it is a disappointing question. It's better to ask the entrepreneur, what are you working on right now? You'll find there is no quick answer,

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