3 Proven Strategies To Complain Less (and Feel Better)

Do you complain more, even for the smallest things? Or does your energy drain after having a conversation with your friends, family, or anyone else?

Then, you probably don’t realise how much you complain.

So, take a moment to think about your last conversation — it could be with your partner, friend, colleague, or any stranger.

Chances are, it involves at least one gripe- about a rude stranger, a slow internet connection, or an exhausting workday.

Does it feel relatable? Don’t worry, you are not alone!

While venting feels cathartic, chronic complaining can trap you in a negative loop, making you more stressed and less satisfied with life.

So, before getting into how to complain less, first, let’s understand what people complain about the most. Here they are…

What do people complain about the most?

So, the top three grievances are:

1. Other people’s behaviour

First and foremost, many complaints stem from feeling disrespected or frustrated by others’ actions, whether it’s inconsiderate co-workers, dismissive family members, or annoying partner habits.

For example, a marketing manager might get frustrated by a colleague for stealing her ideas and taking credit in meetings.

Here, she feels unseen and undervalued, but venting out doesn’t change the situation, right?

2. Life’s daily inconveniences

Some of our daily inconveniences, such as traffic jams, long lines, lousy customer service, unexpected expenses, and technology glitches, can quickly sour a mood.

For example, Louis, a father of two, complains about his morning commute every day. The stop-and-go traffic leaves him irritated when arriving at work, affecting his entire day.

3. Personal Stressors ( work, money, and health)

The last and the most significant sources of complaints arise from financial worries, job pressures, and health concerns.

For example, a freelance writer, Nina, stresses the inconsistent income. Her focus on what’s wrong leaves her feeling stuck and powerless.

We went through some of the common areas where people complain the most. Now, it’s time to give out some strategies on how to complain less.

How to complain less ( and feel better )

If you are willing to break free from the cycle of complaining ( or are probably planning to help others do the same), here are three proven strategies:

1. Reframe the situation

Instead of immediately dwelling on the frustration, look for what you can learn from this situation or how you can control it.

Ask yourself: Is there a silver lining? Can I approach this differently?

For instance, from the above example, the marketing manager should’ve started documenting her contributions and speaking up in meetings instead of getting frustrated.

This one small change of action will help her gain more recognition and feel more empowered.

2. Take action or let go

If something bothers you, ask: Can I fix this?

If the answer is yes, take steps to change it.

If the answer is no, practice acceptance, let it go, and move forward.

Louis, for example, should’ve stopped ranting about traffic and instead used his commute to listen to an audiobook.

This shift can transform his frustrations into a productive habit.

3. Practice gratitude

Focusing on what’s going well in your current life helps rewire your brain to notice positives instead of negatives.

You can try keeping a gratitude journal or simply pausing to think: What’s one thing I appreciate right now?

So, Nina should start ending her day by listing out three things she’s grateful for, which will possibly help her feel more in control and less overwhelmed by other insignificant things.

Final thought

Complaining is normal, but too much can drain your energy and those around you.

So, by shifting your perspective, taking action, and practising gratitude, you can reclaim your mindset and experience more peace- no matter what life throws.

Thank you for reading!