The 4 mistakes ambitious professionals make when making New Year's Resolutions (and the solutions!)

Are you sick of making and breaking the same old new year’s resolutions (or any new habit) year after year?

If you finally want to make that change, or kick that habit that makes you feel bad – read on for my top four neuroscience-backed reasons as to why you are finding this all so difficult.

Reason 1 – forming any new habit takes a lot of energy and head space 

When you are creating or breaking any new habit you are creating a brand new neural pathway in your brain. I see it like a woodland pathway – in order for that pathway to become a well trodden route through the woods, we need to walk down it again and again.

Like that, when we are creating any new habit (for example getting up early to run in the morning), we are not only creating a brand new pathway, but we are also having to resist the urge to go down the already well-trodden, easier pathway (ie. Staying in our nice warm bed as we have done for years). This all takes a lot of brain energy and effort!

It’s in the Pre Frontal Cortex that this all happens. This is the part of the brain that is concerned with conscious thought, strategizing, goal setting and motivation. But when we are tired or stressed or just have too much on, there is not enough energy left over for creating any new habits. 

 This is when we revert to the older ‘mammal’ part of the brain (aka limbic system) – which can run on automatic – using much less energy – and again, in this state we have absolutely no chance of making the best decisions or create new habits

Change requires a lot of energy, attention and consistency, so when we don’t create that, we have no hope of creating, let alone sustaining, any new year’s resolutions or habits

Reason 2 – You have to be very clear on the benefits of the new habit and drawbacks of not doing it 

As human beings we naturally avoid situations where we experience pain, and seek out the ones where we experience pleasure - this is just an old survival mechanism of the brain which is, at it’s most basic functioning level, designed to keep you safe and alive.

So if you really want to get your brain to make all of that extra effort to create an entirely new neural pathway, then you really need to focus on the benefits, the good, the pleasures you will gain from, say that early morning run. You will also need to avoid focusing on the bad, the pain, the difficulties of doing it. 

Reason 3 Any new habit needs to feel as easy and familiar as possible

Most of my clients, when it comes towards the end of our session and they’re now ready to commit to their new behaviour or habit – go all out, saying something like “right I will go to the gym five days a week for an hour – at 6am every morning”. Every single time, I have to reel them back in (often with a lot of resistance) to something smaller, more manageable. The reason is this – any ‘novelty’ or change activates the fight / flight /freeze part of the brain – the Amygdala. 

Remember that survival instinct of the brain? 

When we do anything that is too new or too ‘scary’, the Amygdala is activated – pushing us back to our old ‘safe’, known way of operating. It literally deactivates large chunks of the PFC – so we can’t actually evaluate the situation rationally – or in that moment make the best decisions for our lives. 

All the Amygdala is concerned with is keeping us (physically) alive. It doesn’t care about our dreams, plans, hopes, values and purpose (let alone the fact we want to lose some weight or improve our health)

Reason 4 – It takes time!

Depending on what else your brain is dealing with, and level of difficulty or complexity of your new resolution or habit, you will need to allow plenty of time for it to ‘embed’ or become your ‘new normal’ 

Creating any new habit takes time for those neural pathways to become solid (remember that woodland pathway) and to replace the old behaviour or habit you currently have.

 There are many theories about how much time this all takes, but it really does depend on the habit itself, how much else you are managing in that brain of yours, and how easy or difficult this new habit is. My very rough estimation, for any new behaviour, is to allow at least three months of consistent effort.

And remember, during that time you will need keep your stress levels down, stay focused on the benefits, and have it be as easy and familiar as possible.

Have you repeatedly tried and failed to stick to a new year’s resolution (or any new habit)?

 If so, and you finally want to crack that old habit, read on for my top four, neuroscience-backed tips on how to set, and keep, those new year’s resolutions and habits.

Tip No 1 – Create space and reduce stress 

Clear the decks – let go of some stuff, reduce your work load, social life – whatever is taking up your brain energy

• Get decent amounts of sleep
• Exercise – it gives more oxygen to the brain and reduces stress
• Good Nutrition – especially Omega 3’s to create the protective, strengthening layer (the Myelin sheath) around any neural pathways
• Perform new actions in the morning or after a break

Tip 2 – get very clear on the benefits of doing it and the cost of not

• Because our brains are hard-wired for pleasure and to avoid pain, you absolutely need to get clear on the upside of this change (positive association).
You also need to steer clear of any discomfort or pains of doing it.
• List the benefits and stick them up somewhere / create a vision board of what your life will look like as a result of this new habit.
• Regularly reward yourself for performing the desired actions (positive reinforcement). If the habit itself doesn’t bring natural rewards, add in an extra feel-good reward – such as putting your feet up and reading your favourite magazine.
• Get clear on the drawbacks of not going creating this change – what it will cost you if you for example, don’t quit smoking – ie. you may not be around to see your kids grow up – it could cost you your life.

Tip 3 Change gradually, in small steps  

• Our brains need any new habit to be as non-scary and familiar as possible – otherwise we go into fight /flight / freeze mode and then go back to our old way of being (good or bad).
• We therefore need to implement any change or new habit in as small and regular steps as possible, and stick to a familiar routine.
• For example, when starting a new exercise routine, it is much better to start with 15 minutes of running every day versus aiming for four to five hour long runs a week
• It is also ideal to keep the situation or location as similar as possible – so do it at the same time and placeetc – to give your brain that feeling of familiarity and safety that it needs.

Tip 4 – Allow time and be patient

• Because it takes time for any new habit to be ‘embedded’ – ie. that neural pathway to be repeated and strengthened, it takes time. You will also be replacing a very well -trodden old behaviour of maybe 40/50 years – so again, this all takes time.
• Allow for this, and be patient, and give yourself all the help you can. Create a system where this change is being supported and rewarded for at least 3 months – consistently.
• Schedule and monitor – same day and time is best as before, fitbits, trackers, apps with rewards along the way – these are all great at helping you keep on track.
• Be accountable – publicly via social media, or on a smaller scale within a group if that works for you, buddy up with a friend or someone else wanting to achieve the same thing as you.
• And if you do all of this, yet still feel blocked by something you just can’t easily identify, and this change is really important to you – then get some personal support – coaching, therapy, group therapy – whatever it is you need to make this permanent change in your life.

If you want to learn the five essential steps to making permanent, meaningful changes in your life (that stick), you can find out more in my new book Change Your Life in 5 - available to Pre-order on Amazon now.