Advice Executives Should Ignore

As executive advisor and consultant to senior leaders and teams, I try to practice what I preach. I ask myself, ‘Would I really do this?’  If not, I’m not going to advise it.  For instance:

Set Big Goals

My most successful clients think big, act boldly, take smart risks, and get others excited about doing the same. How do they do this? By setting and achieving small goals, again and again.  It’s why I almost never advise a client to set a ‘big goal.’ On the contrary:  I ask about microgoals, small steps, and how big ideas can be broken down into practical increments. Big goals sound great on paper, but in reality, the complexity and moving parts can quickly overwhelm and paralyze even your most motivated employees. Setting small goals is where the rubber meets the road, and asks the more important (and harder) question: “HOW will we get this done?” 

Worry About Slides

Even some of my most senior clients spend far more time building slides or preparing presentation decks than they should, and it’s crazy.  Good slides are helpful, but YOU are the presentation.  People forget about slides almost instantly. What they do remember is you and your ability to demonstrate value, communicate insights to inform decisions, influence, inspire in ways that drive action and have an impact.  Invest the time there instead.

Take Advice Only Women Get

On occasion, I’ll work someone who will share concerns about their ‘RBF.’  This comes up more than you might think and in case you didn’t know, ‘RBF’ stands for “resting bitch face,” defined by The New York Times as, “a face that a person may make when thinking hard about something — or perhaps when they’re not thinking at all.” 

Completely unsurprisingly, I have never once heard a male client of mine raise this as a concern; their ‘RBF’ is simply called “gravitas.”  Certainly, it’s smart to be aware of your nonverbal language, but if you’re told you have RBF?  Question it, the same way you would if you were told anything that was a biased comment masquerading as advice. Ask yourself, ‘What’s the real motivation of the person sharing this?’  Ignore it, along with all of the other “helpful” advice that only women seem to get. 

Over the years, I’ve asked my clients about bad advice they’ve been given, and I always love hearing their answers.  Some might surprise you.

Here’s a short list of what they have shared with me:

·       Fake it until you make it.

·       Find a company that treats you like family.

·       Hard work speaks for itself.

·       Just do it.

·       Don’t make friends with your direct reports.

·       Bring your whole self to work.

·       Work on your confidence.

·       Follow your passion.

·       Don’t cry at work.

·       Do more listening than talking.

·       Do what scares you.

·       It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

Any bad advice you’ve gotten or want to pass along? Pass along in the comments below.