Andrea’s three tricks for adopting new communication habits

How many times have you learned something new, and thought to yourself, “That’s a great idea, I’m going to try that!”...and then ~whoosh~ it’s completely gone. 

As a communication coach, this is something I think about a lot. How can I help my clients remember what I taught them and make real lasting change? 

We all have the best of intentions when it comes to self improvement, learning new things and adopting new habits. But I hear this from clients all of the time:

“I just can’t seem to remember to actually do it!”

In other words, we’re motivated to make the change, but we don’t always REMEMBER to do so. 

Does this resonate with you?

For example, it could be a word or phrase you’re trying to use more often (e.g. I encourage my clients to use the term “lead” or “led”). Or it could be a word or phrase you're trying to avoid (e.g. jargon or a filler word). It might be a mindset you’re trying to adopt, or perhaps it’s body language (e.g. posture or eye contact).

The question is, what can you do to increase the odds of remembering this new habit, especially when it really matters?

I have three tactics to help you remember new communication habits. (Yes, there’s that power of three again!) I use these tactics myself and I’ve seen them work for my clients.

1. Write it down, and make it visible

 Whatever your new habit is, write it down and get it in front of you. 

When everything went virtual during the pandemic, I needed to up my online communication fast, starting by talking to the camera. So I took a sharpie and a recipe card, and I drew an arrow. Then I taped it on the outside of my laptop, pointing towards the little green light. It worked. Within a week, I was a pro at talking to the green light, and I could get rid of the paper.

I did the same thing a few months later to remind myself to smile. I drew a smiley face on a Post-it Note and taped it to my laptop. Within a few days, I didn't need the paper anymore.

Here’s what to do: Write the habit (or a graphic that represents the habit) and tape it on the side of your computer screen or your keyboard. Or you could tape it to your desk or stick it on your bulletin board. Make it visible.

If there’s something you look at each day, like a to-do list, write down your new habit at the top of the list. I use the notes app on my phone for my to-do list, and I look at it at least 20 times a day. At the top of my to-do list? The new habit I’m trying to adopt!

I know some people who have even changed their screen saver on their phone or their laptop to a word that reminds them of the habit they’re seeking to adopt.

Can you think of any other good spots to write down your new habit?

2. Track your new habit, and challenge yourself

Have you ever heard the saying “what gets measured gets done?” That’s the secret to my next suggestion. 

Create a mechanism that’s easy for you to track systematically. Print out a calendar or use a simple list and give yourself a grade everyday on whatever habit you’re seeking to adopt. 

The tough thing here might be remembering to grade yourself! I suggest grading yourself every day at the same time and place. Maybe create a calendar reminder, or you do it when you sign off from work for the day. Or perhaps you grade yourself before you turn the lights out to go to sleep.

It’s a bit like a chore chart for kids—but it works!

3. Record and watch yourself

Depending on the habit you’re trying to adopt, one of the most effective ways to make real change is to record yourself and watch it back. 

As you can imagine, this works great for things like avoiding filler or jargon words, avoiding upspeak, changing your facial expression, or your body language. 

If you have the opportunity, record yourself when you're giving a presentation or when you’re in an online meeting. 

Now, I’ll warn you, watching yourself is painful. It takes an incredible amount of vulnerability, but it's highly effective!

And that’s it!  

If this newsletter inspired you, check out ep.120 of the Talk About Talk podcast, From Intention to Real Change: How to Improve Your Communication Habits.

Have you tried any other measures for adopting new communication habits that have worked for you?

I’d love to hear about them!

Talk soon,

Andrea

P.S. Looking for more communication skills tips?  Subscribe to my Talk About Talk newsletter for more guidance on how to boost your communication skills, like one common mistake that costs people career growth, and how to reframe a weakness as an asset.

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Dr. Andrea Wojnicki is a Harvard-educated executive communication coach. She founded "Talk About Talk" to help ambitious executives communicate with confidence and clarity by focusing on topics such as personal branding, overcoming imposter syndrome, listening, demonstrating leadership, and formal presentation skills. Andrea provides 1:1 coaching, workshops, keynote speeches, and online courses. She also shares her thought leadership as a columnist at Inc. magazine and she hosts the Talk About Talk podcast, with over 180 episodes and counting.