Balance Isn’t a Tightrope. It’s a Bandwidth Equation

In The Impossible Dream of Balance, I wrote about letting go of the fantasy that we can give everything equal energy at once. That post resonated with many of you, probably because most of us feel that imbalance daily.

But if we're being honest, when I was writing about balance, it was never just about balancing my time. It is also about my bandwidth.

We often discuss bandwidth from a project, workload, or task perspective: "Do you have bandwidth now for X-Y-Z?"  

However, thinking more broadly, bandwidth is what you have to give mentally, emotionally, and logistically on any given day, and it changes constantly.

At Cultivate and home, in leadership and parenting, I've learned that managing bandwidth is more realistic than chasing some mythical state of "having it all together. Here's what I've learned works better than chasing balance, and blends well when I strive for integration:

Plan for real life, not the ideal week

We all (specifically me!) love a tidy calendar on Monday morning. I love to see time blocked with deep work sessions, locking in my exercise sessions, activities with the kids, dinner and drinks plans, and my priority meetings. But life rarely respects the calendar. Kids get sick. Clients change direction. Meetings clash. I don't feel like running on Tuesday, so push it to Thursday, or my headspace wobbles and needs a reset.

Instead of planning like everything will go smoothly, I've found it more sustainable to plan with slack factored in. That might mean fewer back-to-back meetings or blocking out protected time, not just optimistically penciling it in. If everything must go right for your week to succeed, that's a fragile system.

Leave room for the unexpected and the recovery

Most people account for the task, but not the toll the task might take. Delivering a presentation doesn't just take 1 hour — it can take many more to recover mentally.

A tough conversation with a client or team member might be done in 30 minutes, but it lingers for much longer.

Recovery time isn't a luxury; it's what makes the next task possible. I've started treating post-pressure space as a non-negotiable, even if it's just 10 minutes to step outside, take a walk, or not immediately context switch into another meeting.

Recovery time is also one of the clearest signals I use to check my bandwidth.

If I race from one high-output moment to the next without pause, I know I'm not managing my capacity; I'm draining it. If I can't find room to recover, I've overcommitted, and something needs to shift.

The real discipline isn't in pushing through — it's in recognising when your system is overloaded, and choosing to protect what's left before it runs dry.

Audit what's draining you before you're depleted.

By the time you're completely overwhelmed, it's much harder to solve. That's why I've habitually spot-checked my capacity before breaking point. It can be as simple as asking:

"What's taking up a disproportionate amount of space in my head right now?"

"Should I (can I) simply say no?"

Sometimes the answer is a task that needs delegating. Sometimes it's an unresolved tension or something personal I haven't acknowledged. Either way, shining a light on it early gives me options. Waiting until I hit the wall doesn't.

We can't totally eliminate pressure, especially not in fast-paced roles, as founders, business leaders, or as working parents. But we can stop pretending we're running on a full charge every day, and regularly and habitually check our bandwidth.

Balance isn't a tightrope. It's a bandwidth equation.

How do you check your own bandwidth before it’s too late? Drop a comment. I’d love to hear what’s worked (or hasn’t) for you.