Beyond Either/Or: Why Embracing Complexity Makes Us Stronger

We live in a moment of deep contradiction. On one hand, there is a growing push to make things simpler, clearer, and more digestible. Brands, businesses, and institutions gravitate toward binaries—right and wrong, good and bad, us and them. Complexity is exhausting; clarity feels safe.

At the same time, the world is undeniably moving toward greater diversity—of ideas, perspectives, identities, and ways of being. The tension between these forces—simplicity versus variety—is shaping so many of the cultural, political, and professional conversations we navigate today.

But here’s the paradox: While simplicity is seductive, diversity is resilient.

Why We Crave Simplicity but Need Complexity

It’s easy to see why simplicity is appealing. In moments of uncertainty, we crave decisiveness. We want to reduce variables, make choices, and move forward. A strong brand, a clear message, a single takeaway. The world feels chaotic, so we try to distill it into something we can hold onto.

But in doing so, we often ignore the texture of reality. We mistake clarity for truth.

The reality is that complexity exists for a reason. Diversity—of thought, of experience, of people—is not a distraction or an inconvenience; it is an evolutionary advantage. Nature itself selects for variety because variety increases resilience. A single-crop field is efficient in the short term but vulnerable to disease. A forest, with its layers of species, interdependencies, and redundancies, weathers storms.

The same applies to organizations, communities, and relationships. Homogeneity may feel stable, but true adaptability—true strength—comes from embracing the full range of what exists.

The Power of “Both/And” Thinking

For much of my life, I leaned into either/or thinking. I wanted clear categories, definitive answers. But one of the most transformative lessons I’ve learned—as a partner, step-parent, leader, and friend—is that life rarely offers simple choices. Instead, we are constantly called to hold competing truths at the same time.

I can be deeply invested in my work while also recognizing that my identity isn’t solely defined by it. I can advocate for a strong perspective while also remaining open to the perspectives of others. I can strive for excellence and still understand that perfection is an illusion.

Holding both allows for nuance. It creates space for complexity without the need for rigid certainty.

This mindset—of balancing engagement with detachment—is what allows us to navigate life with more grace. If we are too attached, every disagreement, every failure, every shift feels existential. If we are too detached, we risk disengagement, disconnection, and cynicism.

The challenge is to care deeply while also understanding that nothing is permanent. To commit without clinging. To be present without being consumed.

Complexity as a Leadership Skill

In leadership, this balance is everything. Leaders who insist on binary choices—who reject nuance in favor of certainty—often create fragile systems. They drive efficiency at the cost of adaptability, prioritize control over trust, and mistake quick decisions for good ones.

By contrast, leaders who can sit with ambiguity—who can see the tension between competing needs and hold space for complexity—build organizations that last. They create cultures where people can bring their full selves to the table—where diverse ideas and perspectives don’t just exist but are actively valued.

I’ve seen this play out in my own work. The most effective teams I’ve been part of are not the ones that agree on everything or operate under a single way of thinking. They are the ones that challenge each other, that hold different perspectives in the same room, that make space for contradiction and creative friction. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s where the best ideas emerge.

Play as a Strategy for Engaging with Complexity

One of the best ways I’ve found to navigate complexity without being overwhelmed is to embrace play and experimentation.

In my career, I’ve shifted from seeing every new initiative as something that must be executed perfectly to seeing it as a series of small experiments—low-stakes ways to test ideas in their early form.

This shift has been transformative.

When we present ideas as polished, as fully baked, we inadvertently signal that they are not up for debate. People pick up on nonverbal cues—no matter what we say, if an idea seems fully formed, the unspoken message is that there’s little room for meaningful input.

But when we bring forward ideas in a looser, more playful way, people engage differently. They offer better feedback, they contribute more openly, and they feel a sense of ownership in shaping the outcome.

As a species, we are wired for communication, and so much of what we pick up is not in the words themselves but in how something is presented. Playfulness and openness signal that there is room to build together.

This doesn’t mean we abandon rigor—it means we create space for iteration, for learning, for refinement.

Holding the Tension

The ability to balance apparent contradictions—engagement and detachment, clarity and complexity, planning and play—is not just a skill. It’s a practice.

Instead of seeking a final, perfect solution, we can start treating our work, relationships, and leadership as evolving conversations—ones where we are always learning, adapting, and adjusting.

This approach doesn’t just make us more resilient; it makes us better at bringing others along for the journey.

So the question I leave you with is this:

Where in your life or work could you invite more play? More "both/and" thinking? More room for ideas to evolve rather than be perfected upfront?

Because the more space we create for complexity, the more equipped we become to navigate an ever-changing world—not just with efficiency, but with energy, curiosity, and connection.