A Black Belt Negotiation Tip: How To Reach Into Their Mind and Begin To Tip The Scales

This particular article is for you if:

• You want every edge and you want to protect your good working relationships
• You can wrap your mind around the idea that deference is not submission
• You want to become a truly dangerous negotiator

Never overlook the simplest thing you can do to gain an advantage.

What’s the irresistible force in a negotiation? What’s something you can use to your advantage and they can’t stop you? Your voice.

What’s the single most effective thing you can do in a stealth mode that will easily help you smooth over nearly any mistake?Your voice.

What can you lose control of and have it turn against you so badly that you leave money on the table and miss out on deals. Your voice.

In this Denzel Washington clip from “Man on Fire” he’s negotiating with Daniel, aka “The Voice”. The Voice is always smooth and calm. His calm is unrelenting and gains the upper hand at the point of contention every time. Every time.

Notice how The Voice manages to double what he receives. At first it’s a one-for-one exchange and then he ends up with two-for-one.

Every negotiation, at the point of contention, has elevated emotions.

The most dangerous negotiation is the one you don’t know you’re in.

When I was coaching hostage negotiators I would actually have everyone on the team who would be coaching our primary negotiator use The Voice as well. The calm would be contagious and slowly pervade us all. Then it would be passed by the primary negotiator though the phone to the hostage taker and “infect” him as well. Irresistible.

How you can break this down, use it, and why it works, is what I go into in this BigThink video. The Voice should only be used at selected moments. The rest of the time there is another voice which should really be your default voice – and it’s not a demanding one – quite the opposite.

When do I use The Voice versus the voice with “The Smile”? When there is an important point that there is no movement on and I don’t want to suggest a solution. 

Why don’t I want to suggest the solution? Implementation. They are much more likely to implement their idea.

Case in Point: A potential client has sent us a training contract with a “work for hire” clause. This is a deal-breaker for us if it stays in. It doesn’t matter how much they pay us, literally. We don’t give up our intellectual property to anyone. Period.

Obvious answer. They simply take the clause out. Do I suggest that to save time? No.

Why not? I do not want to trigger an “I’ll try.” When anyone tells you “I’ll try” you have 2 problems:

1. It’s not going to happen
2. You now have a reciprocity debt because you asked and they “tried”

We call the potential client up and I use The Voice to say – “We don’t…do work…for hire.” Slowly, pausing frequently, with a downward inflection. Then I go silent and wait (i.e., The Effective Pause).

Our counterpart says, “I’ll go to our lawyers and have them take it out.” And they did.

Use your powers for good and not evil and make it rain!

 - Originally published on blog.blackswanltd.com/the-edge - 

Chris Voss is a negotiation expert, author of Never Split The Difference, speaker, and award-winning business school professor. After 24 years as a FBI hostage negotiator, Chris founded The Black Swan Group, a firm that solves business communication problems with hostage negotiation strategies. For more articles from Chris subscribe to his complimentary newsletter or follow Chris on Twitter @VossNegotiation.