Breaking the Silence on Mental Health

May is Mental Health Awareness Month—a time to shed light on the silent struggles so many face.

This conversation is deeply personal. It's inspired by a friend of mine and her brother, Peter, who tragically died by suicide. As we see mental health challenges rising like never before, it's more important than ever to break the silence, challenge the myths, and reach out with compassion and understanding.

Let me tell you about Peter.

Peter was 53 when he passed. He was married, had two young adult sons, a thriving career, and an active lifestyle. What no one knew — not his family, not even his closest friends — was that Peter had been suffering from depression in silence.

At his memorial service, Peter’s younger sister spoke about depression and how common it is, particularly for men, to suffer quietly, hiding their struggles from even those closest to them. She shared information about a group called HeadsUpGuys.org, created to bring greater awareness to depression and offer support to both those suffering and their loved ones.

Although HeadsUpGuys was created primarily for men, it's a valuable resource for everyone, and I encourage you to check it out. 

Today, we’ll talk about some of the myths surrounding depression, especially in men, provide some truth statements to debunk those myths, and offer thoughts on how we can all boost awareness around this illness that claims far too many lives.

Let’s dive into the myths and the truths that need to be heard:

According to HeadsUpGuys, here are five common myths:

Myth 1: Depression is a sign of personal weakness. Truth: Depression is a real illness.

Myth 2: Real men are in control of their emotions and don’t let things get to them. Truth: Real strength is facing whatever challenges arise.

Myth 3: Feeling sad or down is not manly. Truth: Sadness is an emotion all humans feel, including men.

Myth 4: Anyone with enough willpower should be able to snap out of it. Truth: Depression isn’t overcome by willpower alone; new skills and tools are needed to heal.

Myth 5: Men should be able to cope on their own and shouldn’t ask for help. Truth: Reaching out for support is a sign of strength and taking control.

Although these myths are focused on men, the truth statements are universal and non-binary.

Depression is a real illness. Real strength is facing whatever challenges arise. Sadness is an emotion all humans feel. Healing requires learning and acquiring new skills and tools. Asking for help is a smart, courageous act.

So, how do we beat back these myths and embrace the truth? By having open conversations about mental health — and by sharing our personal stories.

If you’ve experienced depression, anxiety, or any mental health challenge, I encourage you to share your story. You might save someone’s life simply by letting them know they’re not alone. There is someone out there, right now, going through something you’ve survived — and your story could be the hope they need.

Far more people experience mental health challenges than we realize. Yet we often hide those stories because of shame, fear, or the belief that they make us "less than."

It takes courage to share. And in sharing, you shine a light for others, break down harmful myths, and make it safer for someone else to speak up and seek help.

By talking about mental health and sharing our experiences, we create a culture where it's okay to explore our feelings instead of pushing them away.

That exploration — that inward-looking journey I often talk about — is a crucial part of the healing process. Exploring our emotions, both the good and the painful ones, leads to deeper self-understanding, which naturally leads to greater acceptance and love for ourselves.

I recognize that sounds simple. But taking that inward journey isn’t easy, especially when mental health struggles are present. It often means confronting parts of ourselves we don’t like.

If it feels too hard to do alone, that’s okay. Acknowledge that — and seek professional guidance. That’s what I did when I fell into depression in my twenties.

At that time, I had just graduated university, had no job, no prospects, a mountain of student debt, and no idea how to build a meaningful life. I felt empty, lost, and like a huge disappointment.

I was also carrying a lot of anger toward my stepdad, blaming him for the way I felt about myself — stupid, ugly, and worthless.

My boyfriend at the time, now my husband, saw the pain I was in. One day, he came home with a pamphlet for an Employment Assistance Program offered through his work. Because we lived together, I qualified. I called, booked an appointment, and began my healing journey — my first real step on that inward-looking path.

Therapy helped immensely, and another powerful tool I discovered — one I still use today — is journaling.

I’ve shared before about Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, and it’s worth mentioning again. The idea is to write every morning, stream-of-consciousness style, filling three pages with whatever comes to mind. No editing. No re-reading. In fact, it’s recommended to destroy the pages after — burn them if you’d like! A beautiful ritual of letting go.

The act of writing releases emotions trapped inside. It can lighten the burden we carry.

I wrote Morning Pages for years, and they played a huge role in moving me toward a happier, healthier place.

We all have stories. We’ve all walked through dark times, to varying degrees. And by sharing our experiences, we help break down the stigma around mental illness, raise awareness, and show others that healing is possible.

If you're struggling right now, please hear me: You are not alone. You are loved. There are people who care. And you will get through this.

If you, or someone you know, is suffering from depression, I highly recommend checking out HeadsUpGuys.org.

The site offers valuable tools like a self-check quiz, a stress test, suggested conversation starters, a list of symptoms to watch for, and a library of helpful articles. It’s a brilliant resource — and a wonderful place to start.

Please check it out — and share it with others who might need it.

As you know if you’ve been journeying with me for a while, the Joyful Journey isn’t always joyful. Sometimes the path leads through very dark places. Sometimes we need a guide, a friend, a hand to hold — someone to remind us we’re not alone.

One thing I can say with absolute certainty: By walking this inward path, by choosing to face ourselves with courage and love, we will eventually reach the deepest joy of all — Love itself. Love of self.

In closing: Let’s commit to having more open conversations about mental health. Let’s share our personal stories so we can light the way for others out of the dark and into a life of joy.

If you’re struggling, please reach out to someone you trust — a friend, a partner, a professional. It takes courage to speak up — and that courage is within you.

Alright, my fellow Joyful Journeyer — thank you for walking this path with me.

With love and gratitude,

Anita Adams

Author | Wisdom Way Facilitator | Founder of Joyful Inspired Living