Breaking the Silence: Why Parents Struggle to Talk About OCD
Julie Derrick
I Write Books and Guides to Help Parents and Schools Navigate Childhood OCD 📚The Mind Monsters Books [Stories to help kids understand OCD] | 📖Supporting a Child With OCD Digital Handbook For Parents and Schools
"I wanted to comment on your post... but I haven’t even told my own family about my child’s OCD."
This is the message I hear most often—not in public comments, but in private conversations or DMs. Or I’ll receive a testimonial with one small caveat: "Please don’t use my surname."
And I get it. I really do. Because keeping OCD a secret can feel safer than trying to explain it to people who may never understand.
The Burden of OCD
As parents of a child with OCD, we carry a heavy, invisible burden. We ask ourselves painful questions:
Why didn’t I spot the signs sooner?
Why did I give in to OCD’s endless demands?
Did I pass this on to my child?
Then come the deeper fears:
Why did this happen to our child, and not others?
How do we expect others to understand, when we barely understand it ourselves?
OCD Behind Closed Doors
Imagine this: Family comes to visit. Someone goes to sit on an armchair—but OCD has convinced your child that the chair is 'contaminated'.
Panic sets in. How do you explain it?
In your home, this scenario feels normal—just another day navigating OCD’s rules. To an outsider, it feels bonkers. This is just one example of how OCD can dictate the terms of daily life.
And why parents often stay silent.
When We Do Speak Up...
On the rare occasion we share what we’re going through, we hear:
"They’ll grow out of it." "It’s just hormones." "I’d never allow that."
These comments don’t help. They hurt.
Because OCD is not a phase.
It’s not a parenting failure.
It’s a complex and debilitating mental health condition—one that impacts the entire family.
Who Does OCD Target?
OCD often strikes intelligent, thoughtful, creative children—when they’re at their most vulnerable:
After a bereavement or during a divorce
When switching schools or facing bullying
Following poor performance on a test
Or during environmental crises, like a global pandemic
And it doesn’t just affect them. It disrupts the whole family.
How Do We Break the Silence?
If we want to lift this stigma that surrounds OCD and help families feel seen, we need to:
Learn what OCD really is—and what it isn’t
Hold back judgment, especially when we don’t see the whole picture
Offer quiet, consistent support that helps families feel less alone
Want to Learn More?
I’ve created a resource to help families, friends, educators, and supporters better understand what living with OCD really looks like.
📘 The Supporting a Child with OCD Digital Handbook includes five easy-to-digest chapters that cover:
Understanding OCD
The Link Between Anxiety and OCD
Supporting a Child Through Therapy
Overcoming Day-to-Day OCD Challenges
Finding the Right Support
👉 Click here to download your copy.
Let’s replace stigma with empathy—and silence with understanding.