Case for the mid-career sabbatical: lessons from quitting my job and spending 6+ months focused on myself

After 4 years in corporate innovation, I quit my job in April 2022 with nothing lined up. Blame it on corporate innovation if you must (although I'm not sure that's totally fair), but I reached a point of soul-deep exhaustion, or what many call burnout.

Couple that exhaustion with my experience during the pandemic where I was unfortunately reminded multiple times of the reality of how short and precious life and our time is. This shifted my perspective around the importance of spending time with people I care about and reconsidering the role of work in my life. Studies show that one of the biggest regrets people had on their deathbeds was that they'd worked too hard. At the same time, I watched my parents enter into retirement and live their best, happiest lives. And so I started exploring the idea of borrowing time against retirement. Why do we wait until we're retired when we're less physically able to do all the fun things? Why not borrow some of those retirement years and take them earlier? I'm fortunate that I spent the past two years saving a large proportion of my income which allowed me the financial freedom to be able to make this decision.

Ultimately I decided to take a sabbatical, which I define as an extended break from work with the purpose of seeking rest and renewal while prioritizing well-being. It was the easiest and best decision I ever made, but the process was filled with many challenges I didn't expect. Here are some of the lessons and reflections during my time off:

1. Self-care is not selfish

During the early days of my sabbatical I found myself feeling guilty for spending so much time resting and in self-care. I kept trying to remind myself of the "you can't pour from an empty cup" saying about it being okay to make yourself your first priority. But then I started thinking about how the very reason I'm in this situation of extreme burnout forcing me to quit my job is because I didn't take care of myself along the way. I didn't prioritize myself and my well-being. And then I read this quote that made me completely rethink self-care:

Self-care is a prevention strategy, not a crisis response.

One of my favorite professors Adam Grant has written a lot about this topic and reframing the concept of rest:

• Rest is not a reward. You don't have to earn rest, you need rest. You deserve rest.
• Resting is not a waste of time, it's an investment in well-being.
• Relaxing is not a sign of laziness, it's a source of energy.
• Breaks are not a distraction, they're a chance to refocus attention.
• Play is not a frivolous activity, it's a path to connection and creativity.

It was eye-opening to shift the way I view rest and self-care and this is something I intend to carry with me moving forward.

2. Inactivity is uncomfortable but that is where growth happens

During all that rest and inactivity, I started feeling really uncomfortable. I was used to having every hour scheduled in my day, traveling from place to place, moving frantically from day to day and barely having enough time to eat a quick lunch at my desk. I realized that the constant activity and movement of my previous lifestyle was preventing me from really being in my body. Ultimately all the activity was distancing myself from my feelings and numbing any pain. When we're still and present in our bodies is when we feel emotion. And so in my stillness this year I felt high highs and low lows. It's like my body was finally able to release built up anxiety and tension. I used to think stillness was about focusing on nothing but I realized that it's more about being with your emotions so that you can create a clearing and move forward. Embracing the discomfort of my stillness allowed me to grow tremendously in reflecting on my values and what is most important to me.

3. Not everyone wants to climb the expected ladder of success

I was surprised by the amount of judgment I felt from people around my decision to quit without any idea of what I'd do next. While some said it directly, I could sense it in others' facial expressions thinking "you're crazy" or "do you know what you're doing?" It was a similar reaction to when I turned down promotion opportunities or job offers in the past. Success for me may not look like success for you and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people have joked about this sabbatical being my mid-life crisis (which let's just acknowledge that I am hopefully not at my mid-life point yet). Success for me isn't climbing a corporate ladder, it's more like building from the ground up individual overlapping circles (still working on a better analogy). And this sabbatical isn't a crisis, it's a learning curve I wanted to go through to lead me to my next thing. Don't judge other people's career choices by comparing them to your own journey and definitions of success.

4. Don’t be too busy to learn how to be less busy

I have so many thoughts on this topic that I'm working on a whole separate post about it. But the gist is that busy has become a way of life. So frequently when we ask people "How are you?", we hear "I'm so busy" or "I'm so tired," as if it's a badge of honor. I'm guilty of this too, I often feel addicted to checking things off my to do list.

But busyness is not a status symbol.

Through my sabbatical and slowing down, I've developed intentional habits to embrace moments of stillness and solitude in the day - which paradoxically has allowed me to get more done.

5. Working out the mind is just as important as working out the body

Years ago I learned how important it is to my mental and physical health to move my body every day. Some days it's a barre class, other days it's a long walk and others it's hiking the beautiful mountains of Hawaii. I never once considered working out my mind like I do my body. Sure I love to read and learn new things, but I never had regular habits to focus on this. During my sabbatical I took up meditation (95 consecutive days as of today) and it has become as important to me as my physical workout routine. I used to think meditation was about clearing your mind but through my practice I realized it's not at all about that. Meditation is about building your mindfulness muscle the way dumbbell curls build your biceps. For as much as we use our minds every day, it is so important to build and strengthen the muscles of the mind.

6. We are more than just our job

One of the first things we often ask when we meet people is 'what do you do for work?'. It's easy to derive a sense of identity from our job and our work. We spend a lot of time at work. We afford a certain lifestyle based on what we're paid to do for work. During this sabbatical I felt a little lost at times because so much of who I thought I was was tied to my job. How else do I introduce myself to new people if I can't lead with what I do for work? But we're holistic people, work is simply an activity and is just one part of our identity. Which led me to another reframe, we are at the center of our lives (not our job). Instead of allowing work to shape who we are, we need to allow who we are to shape our work.

At the start of every year I pick a word for the year to focus on. My word for 2022 was CENTERED. Too often I hear people talk about finding work-life balance, but I don't believe that should be the goal. Instead, I aspire to be grounded and centered in that I feel at peace with myself. With who I am. With what I value. I didn't realize this would manifest in a 8 month sabbatical but it has and while it hasn't been easy, it's been worth it.

“Sometimes you need to move slowly so you can later move powerfully”