Circle of Control, Influence, and Concern

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the multitude of challenges and uncertainties we face daily. Whether it's in our personal lives or professional environments, distinguishing between what we can control, influence, and merely be concerned about is crucial for maintaining our mental well-being and effectiveness. This concept, often referred to as the Circle of Control, Influence, and Concern, can be a powerful tool for managing stress and focusing our energies where they can make the most impact.

The concept of Circles of Influence, popularized by Stephen Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, helps us distinguish between what we care about and what we can actually impact.

I had the privilege of interviewing Stephen Covey some time ago. You can read about it here: Interview with Stephen Covey, Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

The Circle of Control

The Circle of Control encompasses everything that we have direct control over. These are aspects of our lives where our actions and decisions can directly affect the outcome. Examples include:

• Personal Choices: Decisions about our health, habits, and daily routines.
• Work Tasks: How we manage our time, approach our work, and interact with colleagues.
• Attitude and Response: Our reactions to situations and how we choose to handle stress and challenges.

Focusing on the Circle of Control helps us take proactive steps to improve our lives and work environments. By concentrating on what we can control, we can reduce feelings of helplessness and increase our sense of empowerment.

The Circle of Influence

The Circle of Influence includes areas where we can have an impact, but not direct control. These are situations where our actions can affect others or the environment, but the final outcome is not entirely up to us. Examples include:

• Relationships: Influencing friends, family, and colleagues through communication and behavior.
• Team Dynamics: Contributing to a positive work culture and motivating team members.
• Community Engagement: Participating in community activities and advocating for change.

By focusing on the Circle of Influence, we can work collaboratively with others to create positive changes. This requires effective communication, empathy, and the ability to persuade and inspire.

The Circle of Concern

The Circle of Concern encompasses everything that we care about and we can have little or no direct control or influence over. These are external factors that can affect us emotionally but are beyond our ability to change. Examples include:

• Global Events: Natural disasters, political changes, and economic fluctuations.
• Other People's Actions: Decisions made by others that impact us indirectly.
• Unpredictable Circumstances: Health issues, accidents, and unforeseen events.

While it's natural to be concerned about these areas, dwelling on them can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. Recognizing what falls within the Circle of Concern allows us to acknowledge our worries without letting them dominate our thoughts and actions.

The Power Struggle

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) introduces the concept of the power struggle, which is the internal conflict we experience when we try to control or eliminate difficult thoughts and emotions. This struggle often leads to increased stress and psychological inflexibility. Instead, ACT encourages us to embrace and accept these thoughts and feelings without judgment.

In ACT, the power struggle is addressed through:

• Acceptance: Acknowledging and allowing difficult thoughts and emotions to exist without trying to change or suppress them
• Defusion: Creating distance from our thoughts and feelings, reducing their impact and influence over us
• Mindfulness: Practicing present-moment awareness and non-judgmental observation of our internal experiences

By accepting our thoughts and emotions, we can reduce the power struggle and develop greater psychological flexibility. This approach aligns well with the Circle of Control, Influence, and Concern, as it helps us focus on what we can control and influence, while accepting what we cannot change.

Applying the Concept

Understanding and applying the Circle of Control, Influence, and Concern, along with the principles of ACT, can lead to better stress management and more effective problem-solving. Here are some steps to integrate these concepts into your daily life:

1. Identify: List the issues you are currently facing and categorize them into the three circles.
2. Focus: Concentrate your efforts on the Circle of Control and Influence. Take actionable steps to address these areas.
3. Accept: Acknowledge the Circle of Concern and practice letting go of worries that you cannot change. This might involve mindfulness techniques or seeking support from others.

By consciously directing our energy towards what we can control and influence, and accepting our internal experiences, we can enhance our productivity, improve our relationships, and maintain a healthier mindset. This approach not only helps in managing stress and also empowers us to make meaningful contributions to our personal and professional lives.

Articles by André Ribeiro:

Executive Presence

Painting a Picture of Success

Mastering Power Dynamics

Self-Compassion: Three Simple Practices

Three Good things

5 Secrets of Effective Communication

Manage Your Energy

Reduce Anxiety & Stress with the Physiological Sigh

Coaching Executive Onboarding

Growth Mindset and Coaching Culture at Microsoft

Ways of Being - Ontological Coaching

Six Conditions for Team Effectiveness

Interview with Stephen Covey, Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Why Business and Executive Coaching?

Coaching Market Wizards

Solving Succession: How Executive Coaching helped one of Spain's Wealthiest Families

André Ribeiro is an executive coach, he is Master Certified Coach by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and has extensive training in Psychology and certifications in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and T.E.A.M. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

He coaches leaders in governments, armed forces, NGOs, and top companies including Accenture, Airbus, Google, IBM, Nike, and the World Health Organization.