Civility in 2025: Finding Common Ground While Addressing Inequities

As we move into 2025, I’ve been thinking a lot about civility—what it means and why it matters so much right now. Civility isn’t just about being nice or avoiding conflict. It’s about how we treat one another, especially when we don’t see eye to eye. But here’s the thing: civility doesn’t work if we ignore the very real inequities that exist in our society.

The truth is, we live in a country where not everyone starts at the same place. From access to quality education and healthcare to the right to vote, inequities are everywhere. And those inequities create frustration, anger, and mistrust. These emotions make civility feel nearly impossible. But civility, when done right, isn’t about avoiding those hard conversations. It’s about creating space to actually address them.

Let’s talk about voting rights. It’s a topic that’s been debated endlessly, but the bottom line is this: some people face more barriers to voting than others. Civility doesn’t mean pretending that’s not true or “agreeing to disagree.” It means coming to the table, acknowledging the inequities, and figuring out how to fix them.

Or think about education. Children in underfunded schools don’t have the same opportunities as kids in wealthier districts. Civility isn’t about blaming anyone; it’s about listening to those affected and working together to close the gaps.

We recently talked about this on the Black Gems Dive In Podcast (shameless plug—you should follow if you’re not already). We dove into targeted universalism, which is all about setting shared goals while recognizing that different groups might need different tools to succeed. It’s about equity and unity, and civility is what makes that possible.

I’ll be honest: as a Black woman, it’s not always easy to choose civility. There have been times when I’ve felt dismissed, unheard, or judged simply for being who I am. In those moments, civility feels like the last thing I want to give. But I’ve learned that being civil doesn’t mean staying silent or shrinking myself. It means standing firm in my truth while staying open to finding common ground.

And because I can’t resist bringing in a Harry Potter reference (yes, I watch the series a few times a year—it’s entertaining and full of gems), Dumbledore’s words always come to mind: “We must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” Choosing civility, especially when inequities are involved, is rarely the easy path. But it’s the right one.

So, as we head into this new year, let’s think about civility in a way that actually moves us forward. Let’s make room for tough conversations about inequities. Let’s listen more, even when it’s uncomfortable. And let’s recognize that when we stay divided, no one really wins.

Civility isn’t about glossing over the hard stuff. It’s about building bridges so we can actually address it. Can we commit to that?