"Confidence doesn't exist" (and how to coach it anyway)

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I first discovered Mike Porteous and his work when he reached out to me about a book he was writing. Mike asked me to read his manuscript and, if I liked it, provide an endorsement. I was absolutely delighted to do so. When I saw the other endorsers, it was like a celebrity catwalk of luminaries from the world of sport and coaching: Lawrence Halstead from the True Athlete Project, Stephen Rollnick, Jenny Coe, Craig Morris, Rusty Earnshaw. What exalted company to be alongside, and they all liked it, so there must be something special about what Mike has created.

The Zigzag Journey

Mike's story isn't a straight line, and that's what makes it fascinating. "Some people can tell these stories as if they're a nice clear narrative," he admits. "I'm just not like that. I'm just a ragbag of different things that somehow led me to where I am now."

He's had three distinct careers. First as an academic, which took him to Brazil. Then as a civil servant, where he was involved in exciting developments during moments of big change. "When this thing called the internet was appearing, I set strategy for a big government programme to get businesses into an online way of working," he explains. It wasn't the stereotypical paper-pushing role many imagine.

Then came what he politely calls "early voluntary retirement" (jumping before being pushed). At the time, Mike was heavily into triathlons and mountain biking, living on the south coast with the South Downs in view. The romantic idea emerged: why not set up a business taking people out on mountain bikes?

With a friend, he established Zigzag Cycling, with the vision of taking people across the South Downs. "As an idea, it was beautiful. As a business, it was a disaster," Mike reflects with characteristic honesty. But it was here that something crucial emerged.

The Birth of a Coach

Most of Mike's clients were complete novices, encountering mountain biking for the very first time. They were unsure what would happen, meeting him for the first time, heading out into unfamiliar terrain. This forced Mike into a particular kind of coaching role.

"People would give feedback afterwards saying, 'That was great. I've never done anything like that before, and Mike had this way of making me feel confident,'" he recalls. "And I'd be thinking, but I don't know what I've done. I'm not quite sure what happened out there."

This confusion was compounded by Mike's own technical limitations. "I was pretty rubbish as a mountain bike rider compared to some of the amazing tricks that some people can do. I was quite good at falling off, but not much else." Yet here he was, encouraging people to try novel things on the bike whilst not feeling that confident himself.

This paradox sparked a crucial realisation about confidence and what creates the conditions for people to feel ready to try something new.

The Unconventional Coach

Mike's path into coaching was atypical. Many coaches follow the traditional route: they excel as athletes, then naturally want to communicate that expertise, eventually learning how to help others. But Mike's experience was different.

"I was essentially a relatively novice, albeit more experienced than my clients, but I was taking something I found great enjoyment from and wanted to help others experience it," he explains. This forced him to adopt what I often call the "guide on the side" approach rather than the directive instructor role.

Upon reflection, this became a superpower. While he couldn't rely on technical superiority or personal achievements, he had to develop genuine empathy and the ability to be alongside people on their journey. As he puts it, "There's that natural empathy and willingness to be with somebody on that journey."

Finding Confidence-Centred Coaching

After the mountain bike business failed, Mike shifted to triathlon coaching—what became Zigzag Alive. Over 12-13 years, he's worked with clients across an enormous range: complete beginners learning to swim in open water, athletes tackling Ironman events, and age group competitors aiming for Great Britain representation.

During his coaching qualifications, Mike noticed something significant. The highest-level courses provided amazing scientific and technical resources, with an implicit assumption that coaches would work with elite athletes. But most coaches work at grassroots level with young people more interested in weekly enjoyment than Olympic dreams.

"In the evenings, when we were all sat around having pizzas and chatting about what we'd learned, we kept coming back to questions of confidence," Mike remembers. "How am I going to feel about taking this back to my club? What about those difficult relationships and challenging setups? How can we help our athletes have a sense of confidence?"

One evening, a tutor and fellow coach told Mike he was doing something different, something "holistic." During his long drive home, Mike wrestled with that word. "Holistic—that's not a word that's ever going to capture anyone's imagination. Say 'holistic' to someone, and they'll go, 'Yeah, yeah, we know that. We're all holistic.'"

The breakthrough came when he coined the phrase "confidence-centred coaching." The more he explored these ideas, the richer they became, feeling absolutely right for his approach.

The Three Dimensions of Confidence

Mike's confidence-centred coaching operates on three levels. First, it considers our own confidence as coaches—our self-belief and ability to create a space where we feel at ease, allowing coaching to flow without our heads being cluttered with prescribed methods.

Second, it focuses on the confidence others have in us as coaches. When clients face daunting challenges, how do we create relationships where both parties feel at ease and committed to exploring potential?

Third, it's about supporting people through extraordinary challenges that push them beyond anything they've previously imagined.

This latter point was crystallised when a client Mike had coached through an Ironman event approached him about the Marathon des Sables—a six-day ultramarathon through the Sahara. "There's no way I've ever done anything close to that, nor do I have any interest," Mike admits.

When he asked why the client wanted him as coach rather than someone with direct experience, the response was revelatory: "I can find out about the technical details and read stories of what people have been through. But for a coach, I want someone who week by week is going to ask me, 'How's it going? How's the training going?'"

Beyond Performance and Development

Mike's work challenges the traditional coaching paradigms. He identifies two dominant approaches: performance-centred coaching (focused on measurable outcomes, data-driven, scientific) and development-centred coaching (emphasising engagement, fun, retention, particularly with young people).

But there's a missing element: confidence-centred coaching, where measures are subjective and unmeasurable. "They're about how people feel. How I feel as a coach when I'm stood there, how easy I feel in myself, how true to myself I'm being."

The results aren't just about personal bests or podium finishes, though these may happen. "It's far more about that sense of wonder of people surprising themselves with what they can do. I want to feel that as well as a coach—going away from a session thinking, 'Wow, where did that come from?'"

This creates what Mike describes as a very creative way of coaching. To develop these skills, he looks beyond sport to areas like listening, empathy, and supporting people who are really up against significant challenges.

The Paradox of Confidence

Perhaps most intriguingly, Mike argues that confidence doesn't actually exist as a "thing." "If we think of it as something that some people have and some people don't, we become quite judgemental," he explains.

Instead, he identifies three emotional states that create what we call confidence:

Excitement: Not arrogance or guaranteed success, but thrilled anticipation of what's going to happen. "I am so excited to be here at the start line, ready. I don't know what's going to happen, but wow, how brilliant to be here."

Composure: A combination of control over what you can influence and calmness about what you can't. "We're as well prepared as we possibly can be for the things we can control, and we have an easiness about the fact that there are some things we can't control."

Fluency: Losing yourself in the moment, experiencing flow. "You just lose yourself in the moment. It doesn't mean it's pain-free—it can be a real hard struggle—but you still have that sense of being at your absolute limit and your absolute best."

Drawing Out Rather Than Putting In

Mike's approach embodies the principle that coaching should draw out from within people rather than putting something in. This is beautifully illustrated in his swimming coaching.

Instead of immediately correcting technical faults, he might approach a struggling swimmer and ask, "Would you like some help? It looks like you're struggling a bit." When they mention breathing difficulties, rather than launching into technical instruction, he creates space for discovery.

"How about this? As soon as your head's in the water, see how strongly you can bubble out and listen for the bubbling. Pretend it's a motor—you've got a bubble motor installed, and you've got to bubble out to make the motor get you to the end of the lane."

After they try this, Mike's response is crucial: "How did that feel?" Nine times out of ten, the swimmer reports feeling more in control, less breathless. "Let's see if we can take that further and hang on to that feeling, because the feeling has to reside with the person. They have to own their own right way of swimming."

This approach creates resilient learning because the discovery belongs to the athlete, not the coach. It's been struggled for, personally experienced, and therefore has genuine resonance and staying power.

Creating Living Masterpieces

Mike draws on Michael Gervais and Pete Carroll's concept of the "living masterpiece"—something he admittedly overuses with clients. The space between start line and finish line becomes where athletes create their living masterpiece.

"It's you in that moment, at your most profound best and most easy. Your living masterpiece—not just the time at the end or position on the podium, but what makes for a really brilliant experience."

This echoes Cath Bishop's work on the "long win" and Pippa Grange's distinction between "winning deep" versus "winning shallow." It's about redefining success beyond traditional metrics.

The Flow State

Throughout our conversation, Mike repeatedly referenced flow—that state where time seems to stop or speed up, where coaching just happens naturally. He prefers the term "fluency," partly because it's more accessible than the sometimes overused "flow."

This fluency comes from being really attuned to what's happening in our bodies, not having our heads cluttered with advice or prescribed methods. It's about coaches and athletes alike finding that space where they're fully present and responsive to what's emerging in the moment.

Beyond Guarantees

One of the most striking aspects of Mike's approach is his refusal to offer guarantees. When a client recently approached him about a challenging swim event, wanting "a plan that's guaranteed to work," Mike had to say, "I don't have such a thing."

Instead, he offered something more valuable: "I'm really excited about exploring with you how to get you to the start line feeling as ready as you possibly could be. I'm really excited about what's going to happen. But no coach can guarantee you're going to get to the end."

This honesty stands in stark contrast to coaches who present themselves as keepers of knowledge that, if properly followed, guarantees success. "If it doesn't work out, well, it's your fault—you just haven't followed the prescription."

A New Way Forward

Mike's confidence-centred coaching offers a third way that transcends the traditional performance versus development debate. It places human experience—how we feel, how we relate, how we discover—at the heart of the coaching process.

This isn't about abandoning technical knowledge or performance goals. Mike still draws on both performance-centred and development-centred approaches when needed. But fundamentally, he wants coaching "so centred around what it feels like, how can I be so attuned to what I'm feeling and what the person in front of me is feeling, that coaching just flows, it just happens."

For coaches willing to embrace this approach, it offers the possibility of deeper, more meaningful relationships with athletes and the joy of witnessing people surprise themselves with what they can achieve. It's coaching that honours both the science and the art of human development, placing confidence not as a destination to reach, but as an environment to create.

Ready to explore these ideas further? Join 'The Guild of Ecological Explorers' learning group by heading to www.thetalentequation.co.uk and clicking the 'join a learning group' button.