The Connection Crisis: We're Engineering a Relationship Recession

We may be living through a digital revolution, but a quieter, more insidious trend is unfolding: a relationship recession.

I see it in boardrooms where leaders talk to their slides instead of each other. I see it in “connection theatre”—check-ins and small talk that feel hollow. Our research with more than 1,000 leaders who’ve completed the Ally Mindset™ Profile reveals a startling truth: 1 in 5 feel completely disconnected at work. Not one meaningful relationship. Not one.

[Curious where you stand? Take the Ally Mindset™ Profile here → skyeteam.cloud/youmewe]

The Belief Gap That Breaks Trust

After working with more than 20,000 leaders across 20 countries, it's become clear to me that:

People join an organisation because they believe in you and the company. They leave when they feel you don’t believe in them.

That’s not about perks. A recent study showed that an uncaring workplace culture is 10x more likely than pay to drive people away.

So, back to you, when was the last time you asked a colleague, “How are you doing?” and waited long enough for the honest answer? If you can’t recall, you’re not alone, and that’s the problem.

And on the other side of that same conversation, when was the last time you answered a colleague who asked you, "How are you doing?" with a kernel of truth about how you really felt rather than the facade of "I'm fine"?

The “Fine” Epidemic

At work, “I’m fine” has become our most dangerous lie. It’s not an answer; it’s armour.

I know because I wore it myself. I kept saying I was fine while burning out quietly behind the scenes. It wasn’t until Eric Spencer and Ruby Vesely, who'd noticed I’d gone quiet, misplaced my mojo, kept checking in, and finally got tired of my fobbing them off with "I'm fine". Their persistence wore through my armour plating, and eventually I admitted the truth. I was overwhelmed and exhausted.

That’s what allies do. They notice. They care. They connect.

But most of us don't have an Eric or Ruby checking in. In fact, 30% of leaders who completed our Ally Mindset Profile also shared that no one had checked in on 'how they were doing' in the last seven days.

This means we need a different approach to connection, one that starts with us.

From Fine to Meaning-FULL

Instead of waiting for someone else to notice we're overwhelmed, we need to create Meaning-FULL Connectivity™ - a me-first approach that fuels us, allowing us to connect with others genuinely. I share this framework in my new keynote Fine Is a Four-Letter Word:"

• LOOK UP – Take an honest energy check. Ask yourself "What's my number right now?" on a scale of 1-10, then honor that level instead of pretending you're fine.

• SHOW UP – You're a leader of energy—are you creating sunshine or storm clouds for your team? In the moment, ask yourself 'what do I need to be at my best?' whether your best is a 2/10 or a 8/10. It could be as simple as a 5-minute break, a second cup of coffee or a quick catch-up with your friend at work.

• STEP UP – Fuel yourself first with something that energises you for the longer term. For me, it's music, dancing, collaborating with a colleague, and tidying my office. Then, create one meaningful moment of connection for yourself and with others. Repeat tomorrow. Small steps, big ripple.

Why It Matters

Connection saves lives, literally. When my team worked with an oil and gas company experiencing a rise in workplace accidents, we didn't add more safety checklists. Instead, we shifted their safety meetings from compliance requirements to include personal stories. Workers shared what "coming home safe" meant to their families, their kids, and their plans. Within six months, the number of reportable injuries dropped by 18%.

Because connection isn't soft, it's strategic. Teams with strong relationships are 23% more productive, 18% less likely to lose key personnel, and far healthier both personally and professionally. Having just one friend at work can lower health risks and increase overall job satisfaction and engagement.

Your Next Move

We are drowning in communication while starving for connection. Leaders who step up to close the connection gap don’t just keep people, they help them thrive.

This is the heartbeat of my new keynote, Fine Is a Four-Letter Word. If you're planning an event where you want your people to leave feeling genuinely connected, not just inspired for a day, but equipped with tools they'll actually use, I'd love to chat about how we can make that happen.