For the Days You Doubt Your Place

Let’s be real, being told "you’re loved" should feel like a warm hug. But for a lot of us, it hits differently. Instead of melting into that comfort, we freeze. We question it. We overthink. And deep down, we sometimes wonder: Do they really mean it? Or are they just being nice?

Truth is, accepting love, especially unconditional love can be one of the hardest things to do when you’ve spent a lifetime believing you weren’t worthy of it.

"I Just Wanted to Be Liked" - The People-Pleaser Phase

I still remember, back in my school days, how I used to be an introvert, always lowkey hoping people would like me. I thought if I was useful enough, funny enough, helpful enough, maybe I’d finally feel like I belonged.

So I became that person. The one who cracked jokes even when I wasn’t in the mood. The one who did other people’s homework. The one who showed up, overextended, over gave, and overstayed in places where I didn’t feel seen.

But none of that brought me closer to the kind of love I was chasing. In fact, it made me feel lonelier, because deep down, I knew people liked the version of me I performed, not the version of me I actually was.

We Think Love Has To Be Earned

Many of us were raised in environments - family, school, society, where love felt transactional. Be good, and you’ll be loved. Be smart, be pretty, be obedient, be strong. So we internalize this idea that love is something you have to earn or prove you're "worthy" of.

That belief doesn't go away easily. Even when someone offers love freely, our inner voice kicks in: Are you sure? What if they find out I’m not as great as they think I am? What if they leave?

Vulnerability Feels Unsafe

To accept love is to allow someone to see you. And that level of soul exposure? It’s terrifying when your experiences have taught you that being seen leads to rejection or pain.

C.S. Lewis nailed it when he wrote:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.”

(Sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ - GoodReads)

Many people unconsciously push love away just to avoid that risk. It’s a defense mechanism, protecting ourselves from future heartbreak by not letting love get too close in the first place.

But slowly, with the right people, vulnerability becomes strength. It builds trust. And every time you let someone in and they stay, you’re rewriting the story. You’re proving to yourself that you’re safe now.

Trauma Rewires How We Interpret Love

If you grew up in a household where love was inconsistent, manipulative, or absent, your nervous system might literally struggle to feel safe when someone loves you in a healthy way. If you were not nurtured as a child, you may not know how to receive love. Your brain hears "I love you," but your body feels anxious. Your heart wants to trust, but your instincts are scanning for betrayal. That’s trauma speaking, not truth.

Robin Williams once said:

"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless."

(Sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ - GoodReads)

He brought so much light to the world, yet inside, he struggled with his own darkness, a reminder that being loved publicly doesn’t always translate to feeling it privately.

But the good news is, healing is possible. And with each healthy connection, each moment of gentleness, and each boundary you set, you teach your body what safe love looks like.

Even the Most Famous Felt Unlovable

Take Marilyn Monroe, who once said:

"I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent."

(Sᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ - GoodReads)

Despite the adoration of millions, she constantly questioned if anyone truly loved her for who she was and not just the image of her. Or consider Kurt Cobain, who had the world at his feet but couldn’t escape his own inner torment. Their stories prove that love can surround you, yet still feel unreachable when your inner wounds block it.

But their stories also remind us that we’re not alone in this feeling. Even the brightest stars sometimes feel dim. And in knowing that, there’s a quiet sense of understanding, a reminder that our struggles are valid, and deeply human.

It’s Not Just About Others, It’s About You Too

Sometimes, we reject love from others because we haven’t given it to ourselves yet. If you don’t love yourself or even like yourself, it becomes hard to trust that someone else could.

That’s why self-love isn’t a cute Instagram caption. It’s foundational. Because when you finally learn to love the unfiltered, messy, beautifully flawed version of yourself, you’ll stop treating love like a test you have to pass.

How Do We Start Believing We're Loved?

It’s a process. A slow, gentle one.

It begins with catching the lies your mind tells you that you're too much, too little, too broken and replacing them with truth: you are already enough.

It continues by allowing safe people to love you in small ways. Letting a compliment land. Accepting help. Not apologizing for taking up space.

It deepens through therapy, reflection, and self-compassion. Some days, it looks like hugging your inner child. Other days, it’s just getting through without spiraling into self-doubt.

And sometimes, healing starts when you read something like this and realize: you’re not alone.

TL;DR - Yes, You Are Loved

Even when your brain says otherwise. Even when you don’t feel worthy. Even when all you've known is conditional love. Even if your past tells a different story.

You are loved, not for what you do, but for who you are. For the way you care. For the little things you think no one notices. For surviving the days you didn’t think you would. For just being here.

And learning to accept that love, not just from others, but from yourself, is one of the most powerful, healing, and freeing things you’ll ever experience.

It’s scary, yes. But you don’t have to rush it. Just start where you are, and let love grow from there.