Developing your Purpose

On our Authentic Leadership programmes and when I coach people I challenge people to really think about what their ‘purpose’ is. When I say purpose, I mean what really drives them and what they think is their own ‘raison d’etre’. So likewise, I have challenged myself and been challenged to identify why my purpose is what it is.

Over the years of developing my own deep self-awareness as well as where I get the greatest satisfaction I developed my purpose to be:

To inspire, challenge and support people to create a life changing and sustainable difference for them to live truly authentic, successful and happy lives

Indeed, when I get emails and letter from my clients where they have described a life changing difference to them, or help solving a problem they have been struggling with for most of their lives etc. I am ecstatic. I feel I have achieved what I have been put on this earth to do. This is so rewarding.

Now having coached over 500 Leaders and asked the question ‘what is your purpose’ or ‘what do you want to say about the next 30 years when you are 70-80’. The most frequent response is ‘I want to feel I have made a difference…’

So, my purpose is not unique at all but I think it is interesting about what drives it and where the passion comes from. In my case I revisit my family of origin to understand why this is so important for me.

I am the youngest and only daughter with 2 older brothers. My parents were born in the late 1920s/early 30s and were of their time. What I mean by that is that they were very traditional and had beliefs and views about what was appropriate for boys and what was appropriate for girls. Consequently, it was seen that the boys had to do well at school and to be the breadwinner. Furthermore, there were the pink and blue jobs as well as pink and blue activities. Overall there was a lot of focus on the boys and their importance and, they seemed to have more fun and adventure. I hated Sundays as I hung around to help with cooking and washing up. It took me a long time to get over my phobia of washing up as my friends from Business school will tell you. I ended up with over 50 mugs to wash as I would rather go out and buy another mug than face doing the washing up!

So as a child what did I take away from this? My reflections lead me to think that I had some core beliefs they were ‘don’t be important’ ‘little girls should be seen and not heard’ and ‘don’t push yourself forward’ So since a very young age I have wanted to be seen, noticed, have some impact on others. And crucially to do this in a way that’s not being the centre of attention.

With this as my backdrop it became clear to me why I am so driven and passionate to make a difference for people. Why when I work with people either in a coaching relationship or Leadership development space and see them significantly change, develop and find happiness, success and authenticity in their life that it is like manna from heaven for me!  Why when my clients send thank you emails and testimonials that I have made a life changing and sustainable difference to them it makes me so happy. All these things whilst great for them, are essential for me as I have had some impact on them and their lives.

As you might imagine writing this (and posting) from my beliefs has been difficult to fight my inner dialogue of it being self-indulgent and attention seeking. My hope is that it has some impact and it resonates with you whether you had a similar upbringing, be it gender difference or even plain old sibling rivalry. Your family of origin and what you take away is a good starting point to think about your purpose.