Did we learn to fear conflict from our mothers?

This Mother’s Day, I found myself reflecting on something I wish I didn’t have to:

What if many of us learned to avoid conflict from our mothers?

What if people-pleasing, over-apologising, or being the peace-keeper didn’t come from weakness—but from love?

We model our behaviour based on what we see.

If we grew up watching our mothers avoid conflict, over-function, apologise unnecessarily, or carry the emotional labour for others, we likely learned that fawning (aka people-pleasing or smoothing things over) is what keeps relationships safe.

"Be nice."

“Don’t upset anyone.”

“Smile and carry on.”

These may not have been explicitly said, but they were deeply encoded—and we internalised them as the model for being “good,” “kind,” and “accepted.”

• My mum was incredible.
• One of 14 children.
• The first girl in her family to graduate from higher education.
• Mother of five.
• Kind, generous, and strong.

And for a long time, I tried to be the perfect woman like her.

• The doting daughter.
• The supportive wife.
• The present mother.
• The fun friend.
• The ambitious career woman.
• The household planner.
• Always calm. Always composed. Never a burden.

But I also remember the cracks.

• The silent tears in the corridor.
• The outbursts behind closed doors.
• The pressure to follow the rules and not upset the elders.
• The quiet we were told to keep when tension ran high—to avoid the rod.

I know my mum did the best she knew how—just like my grandmothers before her. Women raised in environments where assertiveness and boundaries weren’t rewarded. So what got passed down was often a survival strategy wrapped in love.

In aesthetics, especially among women practitioners, I see these same patterns show up in business:

• Over-explaining
• Over-functioning and giving in to unreasonable requests
• Difficulty saying no
• Blurring the line between personal and professional
• Avoiding difficult conversations
• Feeling guilty for charging appropriately
• Doubting themselves when a client complains

It’s something I see often in new practitioners. And if I’m honest—something I’ve had to unlearn myself.

When I created this week’s YouTube video on communication skills for aesthetic practitioners, I realised I was also healing a younger version of me—

The one who didn’t have the words or confidence to say:

“That didn’t sit right with me.”

“I need time to think.”

“I deserve respect.”

Whether you’re new to aesthetics or a seasoned practitioner, this video walks you through how to handle difficult client interactions without losing yourself.

It’s for the part of you that’s still learning to speak up.

To lead with compassion, but not over-explain.

To honour your empathy and your boundaries.

Because communication isn’t just a business skill—it’s a healing one.

🎥 Watch the video here → https://youtu.be/3WcqEcEMHCY ❤️

If it resonates, please like, comment, and share it with someone who needs it.

👇 I’d love to hear from you: What communication habit are you unlearning right now?

With love, power and presence.

Terry