Does Every Question Need an Answer?

At some point, we’ve all been haunted by a question that wouldn’t let us go. Maybe it was a career pivot you weren’t ready for. A big life decision with no clear path. Or just the quiet ache of wondering, what now?

Our brains are wired to crave answers. We like resolution. We want to close the loop and tie things up in a tidy bow. This is what the Zeigarnik effect teaches us: we remember and dwell on unfinished tasks more than completed ones. That’s why it’s so hard to let go of a lingering question…especially one with no clear answer.

But not every question is meant to be answered. Some questions are meant to be lived.

In episode 499(!) of The Brainy Business podcast, I talked with Elizabeth Weingarten , journalist and applied behavioral scientist, about her book How to Fall in Love with Questions. One of the most powerful threads in our conversation was the idea that uncertainty isn’t a problem to fix. It’s an experience to embrace as you move through and exist in it. 

Elizabeth shared this quote from Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet that sparked her book: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Live the questions now.”

Letting go of the need to immediately solve every question can be freeing. I’ve had plenty of attendees at my own Questionstorming sessions react with shock and joy as they realize that not every question’s job is to be answered. Some questions are just there to help you get to the next, better question. 

Instead of trying to wrestle uncertainty into submission, why not walk beside it for a while? What if the discomfort of not knowing could become a sign of growth, rather than failure?

Our minds don’t like ambiguity. We gravitate toward fast answers, even when they’re wrong, just to feel like we’re doing something. We search for control by narrowing possibilities into binaries—right or wrong, yes or no—even when the truth lives in the messy middle.

This is where curiosity becomes a skill. And that’s where Elizabeth’s “4 Cs” can help.

How to Live the Question Using the 4 Cs

As Elizabeth shared in the episode, there are four essential ingredients to help us love and live our most complex, personal questions: curiosity, conversation, commitment, and community.

How to try it:

• Start with curiosity. Instead of demanding an answer, gently ask yourself, What might I learn by sitting with this a little longer?
• Open up a conversation with a friend, coach, journal, etc. Sometimes just saying the question out loud can shift its weight.
• Make a small commitment. One step. One choice. Even a tiny action creates momentum and gives your brain a sense of agency. (Note: sometimes committing to one question means letting go of another.)
• And seek community. You are not the only one wrestling with uncertainty. Surrounding yourself with others who embrace the unknown will normalize the journey and help you feel safe.

This process is not intended to give you “the answer” because that’s not the point. Instead they will help you live your question more fully and experience all the value it has to offer.

Brainy Bite of the Week

Not every question needs to be answered. Some are meant to stretch you, shape you, and remind you that you’re still in motion.

If you’re feeling stuck on a problem right now, pick one of the four Cs and lean into it this week. Get curious. Have a conversation. Make a small commitment. Reach out to someone who helps you feel safe and seen. (That could be me, right here in the comments!)

Let the question breathe. You might be surprised by what grows in the space it creates.

Thanks for reading. Until next time...BE thoughtful.

Melina Palmer