Don’t Have Time for Self-Care? Try These Easy Hacks

I recently attended a Coaches Networking Café with ICF Washington State (ICFWA) coaches, not really knowing what to expect. Our group was relatively small, so we tossed around some topics for discussion, landing on 'well-being and self-care.' As an executive and leadership coach, my clients often need to find time for themselves in their jam-packed calendars. What I conveniently forget is that I also need time to recharge and take care of myself, especially as I help three older parents navigate aging. “But I have broad shoulders,” I tell myself. “I’m good at it.” I find myself sounding like some of the execs I work with – essentially convincing myself I can do it all. Until a hiccup in my own health prompts me to reconsider this idea. I need more self-care.

From this group of coaches who randomly, but brilliantly joined together, came some great ideas for self-care.

Three-minute Meditation

Diane took us through a short meditation. Close your eyes, inhale, and exhale. Let go of the busyness of the day. And then ask yourself the following questions while holding them lightly:  Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? What am I grateful for? To let go and release those thoughts and rest easily in awareness. To use ‘so-hmmm’ as a mantra to relax and breathe. When you reopen your eyes, you’ll feel refreshed and relaxed.

The 15-Second Pause

Brett offered the 15-second pause throughout the day. Before you attend that next meeting, stop at the door for 15 seconds, breathe, pause, and focus your thoughts before you walk into the room. Holding a conversation with your boss or your team? Take that 15-second pause first. It helps refocus your attention so you can be present. And – it only takes 15 seconds! You can do this throughout your day.

Build Good Habits with Intention

Elizabeth focused on the importance of rest, water, and walking. Get a good nights’ rest. Fill your water bottle at the beginning of the day and carry it with you. Drink up. Need exercise? Book that meeting on a floor that’s going to force you to walk up several flights of stairs. Park a little farther away from the entrance so you can walk. Do things with intention.

Create Mini-Positive Experiences

Bruce shared that creating small positive experiences throughout the day can have a larger impact than one big positive experience. Having brief positive interactions with others not only helps you feel better about your day but will also help others feel uplifted as well. It’s a form of co-regulation – regulating emotions and behaviors to soothe and manage yourself with the support and direction of a connecting person. Think of the positive impact you can have!

Yes/No Balance

Instead of work/life balance, Bruce mentioned that we can pay more attention to what we say ‘yes’ to. ‘No’ is a complete sentence. I shared a phrase I sometimes use to soften the ‘no’ if necessary – “I’m not able to take that on right now.” Diane suggested using the Yum or Yuck test. Are you looking forward to it? Is it a ‘yum?’ Or if saying yes prompts you to feel ‘yuck,’ say no instead. Give yourself permission to NOT do it. Lyn asked, “Are you being driven? Or are you being drawn?” Notice the difference.

Plan Your Energy

Elizabeth offered that checking your calendar for the week ahead on Sunday night can help you navigate energy for the week. (I do this, and it works)! What she added was a reflection time to look back on the week and give yourself props for what you accomplished. What went well? What can you do differently? This is especially important for high achievers who typically just move onto the next thing because they think they should be accomplishing all this anyway.

Create a Ritual

Bev likes to light a candle between coaching sessions to shift her energy and help focus for the next meeting. Use all of your senses – sight, smell, touch, sound, or tase. It will help you ‘shift gears’ throughout the day. I start my day with a cup of coffee and quiet time. It helps ground me and give me a calm start to my day. As Lyn said, “I want to be the person I am when I’m having my cup of coffee.”

Practice Mindfulness

Brett, Diane, and Bruce mentioned a couple of versions of stopping and noticing throughout the day.

·       Pause, notice, choose

·       Notice, Pause, reflect, Choose, Act

·       STOP – Stop, Take 3 deep breaths, Observe your surroundings, Proceed with love and compassion.

Be a Role Model

Dawn shared that we, as coaches, can model the behavior we want to see in our clients. If we can put into practice what we see as beneficial self-care for our clients, we're walking our talk.

I’m going to incorporate some of the above practices into my daily routine. Put on my own oxygen mask first before helping others. Self-care and well-being matter, especially for those of us in the coaching community. I’m grateful for group's wisdom, so a big 'shout out' to our #CoachesNetworkingCafe!

Margo Myers is a leadership, executive and communications coach who works with high achievers ready to take on the next challenge. Please visit https://margomyers.com to learn more.