Embracing Mentorship: Guiding through Curiosity, Not Control

Not all that long ago, I found myself standing on the platform of a busy train station, a crowded kaleidoscope of myriad lives intersecting momentarily in transit. Having long traded the comfort and convenience of our car for a subtler means of transportation—trains—we are continually presented with rich diversity, a synergy of motivations, backgrounds, and destinations. One day, an incredibly poignant moment occurred amidst this backdrop of comings and goings.

 At the heart of this story lies the essence of mentorship. A young family descended from the train; the father headed to the restroom while the mother, saddled with a stroller and the ever-present cell phone, also had her 2- or 3-year-old child. This toddler, in awe of the animated scene, stood slightly ahead, scanning her surroundings with palpable curiosity and confusion. I was drawn in by the sight, curious about the child's responses to this chaotic world in front of her.

Anyone who has been thrust into a strange or intimidating scenario can relate to the sensation of being lost or the urge to retreat. This little girl mirrored those emotions; after sizing up her environment, shaking her head no, she turned towards her mother, arms outstretched in a silent request for refuge. Her mother promptly scooped her up. 

Reflecting on this seemingly ordinary exchange stirred in me a profound realization about the nature of mentorship. As mentors, we frequently face scenarios where our mentees, much like this young child, find themselves at a daunting crossroads—a new role, life-changing decision, or a perplexing challenge. It's all too easy and somewhat human to try and intervene, to 'lift and carry' them through instead of helping them navigate their path.

However, mentors' intervention is only sometimes beneficial. In our earnest attempts to help, we often carry the burdens ourselves, providing temporary relief but inevitably hindering our mentees' growth. Instead, what if we could cultivate an environment of curiosity and courage, gently urging our mentees to explore the unknown? As mentors, our task is not to take over but to reinforce the presence of a safety net, a beacon of guidance back at the reins, should it be needed.

The cornerstone of effective mentoring is to inspire self-learning and independence in our mentees. While reassuring them of our steadfast support is crucial, it's also vital to promote curiosity, helping them comprehend and navigate the strange tides ahead. They are to walk their path, with each step being their decision, while we walk alongside, ready to provide the needed perspective and advice.

So, take your mentee's hand, let them lead, and walk beside them. Making their path easier doesn't always equate to carrying them - sometimes, it lies in making them strong enough to navigate their path.

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These notes embody over 20 years of experiences and observations throughout my journey as a mentor. In sharing my insights, I hope to equip you for your own mentorship journey, inviting you to delve into your mentoring potential and tune into your innate wisdom to guide others into their future with faith and curiosity.