Emotional Intelligence: EBITDA of Life - Motivation
In our continuing journey through Emotional Intelligence (EQ) from self-awareness, self-love, and self-regulation to empathy and the power of connection, now we arrive at a force so essential yet so often misunderstood: MOTIVATION.
Here's the truth most productivity gurus won't tell: we already have all the motivation we need. It's not hiding, it's not broken, and we don't need to manufacture it. Our natural drive is there. It's just buried under layers of motivation killers that modern life has convinced us are normal.
Real motivation isn't about adding more systems, strategies, or stimulation. It's about systematically removing the obstacles that block innate energy and enthusiasm. Think of a sculptor who doesn’t create a statue but reveals it by chiseling away excess marble; authentic motivation surfaces when we eliminate what’s obscuring it.
This is motivation through subtraction: recognizing and removing the hidden barriers, energy drains, and false motivators that keep us feeling depleted instead of accessing our natural reservoir of drive and purpose.
The EBITDA of Business and Motivation
In business: EBITDA = Earnings – (Interest + Taxes + Depreciation + Amortization) A measure of core profitability once external distractions and accounting noise are stripped away.
In life and leadership: Motivational EBITDA = Energy – (Distraction + Obligation + Outdated Beliefs + Emotional Cost) A measure of pure drive once removed all that's draining inner fire.
The Three Silent Killers of Motivation
Research in behavioral psychology reveals that most motivation problems stem from three invisible barriers that accumulate over time, slowly suffocating our natural drive without us realizing it.
Values Misalignment is the subtle erosion that occurs when daily actions drift away from core values and authentic desires. When there's a gap between what you do and what you truly care about, the unconscious mind begins to resist, creating the experience of "lack of motivation" when it's the lack of authenticity.
Energy Mismanagement happens when we consistently ignore our natural rhythms and energy patterns, trying to force productivity at low-energy times while wasting our peak energy on trivial tasks. Chronobiology research reveals that working against your natural energy cycles can reduce motivation by up to 40%.
Cognitive Overload occurs when our mental bandwidth is consumed by too many decisions, distractions, and conflicting priorities. Dr. Roy Baumeister's research shows that decision fatigue depletes the same mental resources needed for motivation and willpower. When the brain is cluttered, motivation can't flow.
The Hidden Motivation Blockers
Most people focus on what to add to increase motivation, but the real breakthrough comes from identifying what to remove—and understanding that different types have different primary blockers.
The Comparison Trap: Social media and modern culture create constant comparison with others' highlight reels. Dr. Leon Festinger's social comparison theory shows that upward comparisons (comparing yourself to those you perceive as better) consistently decrease motivation and self-efficacy. The solution isn't more self-confidence it's removing comparison triggers.
The Perfectionism Prison: Perfectionism masquerades as high standards but blocks motivation by making starting feel dangerous. Dr. Brené Brown's research reveals that perfectionism is correlated with depression, anxiety, and decreased performance. Perfect conditions never exist, motivation flows when you remove the need for them.
The Approval Addiction: When your motivation depends on external validation, you're outsourcing your drive to others. Studies show that extrinsic motivation (praise, rewards, recognition) decreases intrinsic motivation over time. The more you need others to motivate you, the less access you have to your natural drive.
The Comfort Zone Cocoon: Staying in environments, relationships, and routines that don't challenge you creates motivational stagnation. Neuroscience research shows that novelty and appropriate challenge are essential for dopamine production. Remove excessive comfort, and motivation naturally returns.
The Information Overload: Consuming endless content about productivity, success, and self-improvement without implementation creates "learning addiction" the illusion of progress without actual movement. Analysis paralysis blocks motivation more effectively than any external obstacle.
The Hierarchy of Motivational Emergence: From Survival to Soul
Before we can effectively remove motivation blockers, we must understand a crucial truth that most self-help advice ignores: intrinsic motivation can only fully surface once basic extrinsic needs like safety, stability, and recognition are first satisfied.
It's purely human psychology. When the human nervous system is in survival mode, worried about basic security, it literally cannot access the brain centers responsible for intrinsic motivation, creativity, and purpose-driven action.
The Four Stages of Motivational Emergence:
Stage 1 - Survival Motivation: Driven by basic needs for safety, food, shelter, and financial security. At this stage, external motivators (money, job security, avoiding consequences) rightfully dominate. You cannot meditate your way out of needing to pay rent.
Stage 2 - Stability Motivation: Once survival needs are met, motivation shifts toward building reliable systems, gaining competence, and earning respect. Recognition, skill development, and social status become primary drivers. This is healthy progression, not shallow ego.
Stage 3 - Significance Motivation: With security and competence established, the drive for meaningful impact emerges. You begin asking "What's this for?" and "How can I contribute?" Purpose starts to matter more than just personal advancement.
Stage 4 - Soul Motivation: Only when the first three stages are reasonably satisfied can pure intrinsic motivation fully emerge creating for the joy of creation, serving for the love of service, learning for the pleasure of discovery.
The key insight: Humans cannot skip stages, but can clear the blockers at the current stage to progress naturally to the next.
The Six Motivation Types: Understanding Your Current Operating System
Research reveals that people operate from six distinct motivational patterns, often without conscious awareness. Understanding the types helps remove the specific blockers that affect the most.
The Achiever: Motivated by goals, progress, and measurable outcomes. Blockers include unclear objectives, lack of feedback, and environments without challenge or growth opportunities.
The Harmonizer: Driven by balance, authenticity, and sustainable well-being. Blocked by excessive pressure, values conflicts, and environments that prioritize speed over quality.
The Explorer: Energized by novelty, learning, and new experiences. Motivation dies in routine environments, rigid structures, and situations with limited growth or variety.
The Connector: Fueled by relationships, collaboration, and shared purpose. Blocked by isolation, competitive environments, and work that doesn't clearly help others.
The Creator: Motivated by bringing new ideas into existence and personal expression. Blocked by micromanagement, lack of creative freedom, and environments that punish experimentation.
The Guardian: Driven by protecting, preserving, and maintaining what matters. Blocked by constant change, unclear security, and environments that don't value stability and reliability.
Most people are a combination of 2-3 types, with one being dominant.
The key is removing blockers specific to your type while ensuring your foundational needs (Stages 1-2) are met.
Leaders Who Found Motivation Through Elimination
Warren Buffett: Known for his "20-hole punch card" philosophy, Buffett discovered that his motivation increased dramatically when he stopped trying to do everything and focused only on his highest-leverage activities. His breakthrough wasn't learning more investment strategies. It was removing 99% of investment opportunities from consideration.
He eliminated: daily market watching, short-term thinking, complex financial instruments, and anything outside his circle of competence. By removing these distractions, his natural analytical gifts could flow freely, creating unprecedented investment success.
Marie Kondo: Before becoming the world's most famous organizing consultant, Kondo was overwhelmed and unmotivated despite loving organization. Her breakthrough came when she stopped trying to organize more efficiently and started asking what to eliminate entirely. Her question shifted from "How can I organize this?" to "Does this spark joy?"
She eliminated: items that didn't serve her, organizational systems that felt forced, and the belief that she needed to keep things "just in case." This elimination-first approach revealed her natural motivation for creating peaceful, joyful spaces.
Ancient Wisdom from the Bhagavad Gita & Buddhism
In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna reminds Arjuna that action without attachment to outcome is the path to clarity and peace. It is detachment, not disinterest, that powers sustainable motivation.
Buddhism echoes this. The concept of "right intention" in the Noble Eightfold Path asks us to let go of attachment, aversion, and ignorance—the thieves of motivation.
As the Zen saying goes: "You are perfect as you are, and you could use a little improvement." The improvement comes not from adding more but from removing what covers up your natural perfection.
Elimination is not loss. It’s liberation.
The Solar Plexus Detox: Clearing Your Power Center
Deepak Chopra says:
“Each of the seven chakras are governed by spiritual laws, principles of consciousness that we can use to cultivate greater harmony, happiness, and wellbeing in our lives and in the world.”
The solar plexus chakra, the personal power center, often becomes blocked not by lack of confidence but by accumulated energy that doesn't belong to you, other people's expectations, societal pressures, and inherited limiting beliefs.
Signs of Solar Plexus Blockage:
Feeling motivated by what you "should" do rather than what you want to do
Constant need for external validation before taking action
Feeling drained after spending time with certain people or in certain environments
Difficulty accessing anger or saying no, even when boundaries are crossed
Solar Plexus Clearing Practices:
Emotional detox: Identify and release one limiting belief each week that isn't authentically yours
Energy boundary practice: Notice when you feel depleted after interactions and limit exposure to energy drains
Power reclaiming ritual: Write down three things you do primarily for others' approval, then experiment with stopping one
Core strength work: Physical core exercises help strengthen your energetic center and sense of personal power
The 3-Minute Daily Elimination Practice: STOP – SPOT – SWAP
This simple practice helps to identify and remove motivation blockers in real-time:
STOP (1 minute): Three times during your day, pause and ask: "What am I doing right now that's draining my energy unnecessarily?" Notice without judgment.
SPOT (1 minute): Identify one specific pattern, environment, or habit that consistently reduces your natural motivation. Be precise about what exactly is happening.
SWAP (1 minute): Replace the energy drain with something that naturally energizes you, or simply eliminate it if no replacement is needed.
This practice develops what researchers call "metacognitive awareness" the ability to observe your mental patterns and make conscious adjustments rather than being carried along by unconscious habits.
Remember: Honor Your Current Stage and Eliminate Blockers
Motivation isn’t something that needs to be created—it’s a natural state that emerges when obstacles are removed. When survival is at stake, it’s normal not to be driven by purpose or passion. The nervous system is simply prioritizing correctly.
Real motivation develops by addressing present needs, not by forcing higher-level goals. Recognition, achievement, even safety, these are valid stages in human development. Motivation doesn’t need to be built. It needs to be uncovered. By removing blocks and meeting real needs, natural drive begins to flow again.
The most motivated people aren't those who've learned the most motivation techniques. They're those who've removed the most motivation killers while honestly addressing their foundational needs. They've cleaned house, cleared space, and created conditions where their natural drive can flow freely, starting from where they are, not where they think they should be.
"Motivation is what remains when distraction, doubt, and obligation, outdated beliefs, and emotional burden are stripped away."
Your motivation type and current stage aren't limitations they're your starting point. Remove the blockers specific to your type, address any unmet foundational needs, and watch your natural drive emerge without force or manipulation.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. What fuels your motivation? How do you reconnect with it when it fades? Your story could be the gentle spark someone else needs to keep going.