If Empathy Is Trending, Why Are So Many People Still Miserable at Work? By Andrea Hogan

By Andrea Hogan

Last year, I stepped away from a 25-year career in tech and took a six-month break. Not because I had to. But because I knew I needed to.

After years of operating at full tilt, I wanted space. Space to be with my mum, who’s navigating Alzheimer’s. Space to show up for my family in a more intentional way. And space to reconnect with myself—on a 500-mile solo journey walking the Camino de Santiago across Spain.

It was one of the most profound, clarifying, and transformational experiences of my life.

But what surprised me most wasn’t the journey itself. It was what happened when I shared it.

I expected a few likes. Maybe some admiration. What I got instead was a wave of private messages—hundreds of them. Not from people celebrating my break… but from people quietly saying:

“I wish I could do what you did.” “I’m at a breaking point.” “I’m completely burnt out.”

Many were at crossroads. Inspired, yes. But also depleted.

And too many of the messages were… devastating.

• One friend took a 4-month mental health leave because his job was wrecking his health.

• Two colleagues had strokes.

• Another had a heart attack—at 44.

• One person wrote: “My job cost me my marriage. I missed my kids growing up.”

These weren’t dramatic outliers. These were respected, high-performing people from global brands—companies that proudly post about mental health, “belonging,” and psychological safety.

So I have to ask:

If empathetic leadership is so important…

why are so many people still suffering in silence?

The Empathy Illusion

We’ve all seen the leadership posts.

“People first.” “Culture is everything.” “We lead with empathy.”

But how often is that actually true?

Because practicing empathy isn’t saying the right things. It’s doing the right things—even when it’s inconvenient.

Real empathy means:

• Protecting your team from overload—not just applauding their resilience.

• Spotting burnout before it breaks someone.

• Creating psychological safety—not just an open-door policy.

• Actually knowing your people—their lives, their pressures, their potential.

You can’t outsource that. You can’t schedule it in a Slack thread. And no “mental health day” or #EmpathyMatters post will fix what your everyday leadership builds—or breaks.

The Trade-Off No One Wants to Admit

Here’s the part no one talks about:

There’s someone on your team who gets results. They hit targets. They’re “indispensable.” But they’re a terrible manager. They erode trust. They cause damage.

And leadership looks the other way.

Because they perform.

But here’s the truth: If you know someone is hurting the culture and you do nothing, you’re not just tolerating it. You’re endorsing it.

And the cost of that decision?

• Turnover.

• Legal risks.

• Lost innovation.

• Quiet quitting.

• And a reputation that repels the very talent you’re trying to attract.

📊 Harvard Business Review reports that 76% of employees say workplace stress is harming their mental health—and that number is still climbing.

Results without empathy are a short-term sugar high with long-term rot.

You’re not getting ahead. You’re hollowing out your organization from the inside.

The Leadership We Actually Need

Leadership has always been sacred to me. Not the title. The responsibility.

Supported, seen, respected teams perform better. They stay longer. They care more. And they carry the mission like it’s their own—because you made it theirs.

And here’s what I’ve learned: Your impact isn’t just in KPIs. It’s in how your team feels walking into work every day. It ripples into their health, their home, their relationships, their joy.

You have that power. Whether you use it to build—or break—is up to you.

The Pulse Check Every Leader Must Take

Here’s the question every leader—at every level—should be asking:

“Is this a team people want to be on… or one they survive?”

Your job isn’t to extract more. It’s to create a space where people can thrive.

Where they feel heard. Where they belong. Where they don’t have to break to be seen.

And If Things Are Going Well?

Then you have something powerful—and rare.

If your team is thriving, if your leaders are walking the talk, if the culture you’ve built is strong, safe, and human—don’t stop there.

Look around. Because somewhere else in the same org, on the same floor, in the same Zoom grid—someone is struggling. Someone is surviving a version of leadership that does not reflect the values on your company’s walls.

This is where great leadership becomes something more: generative.

Mentor a peer. Model better behavior in the rooms where it's absent. Use your seat at the table not just to protect your own team—but to uplift the standard across the board.

Because just as toxic culture spreads, so does courageous leadership. Empathy scales when it’s not hoarded but shared. A culture of care is not built by one heroic manager—it’s built by a network of people who refuse to look away.

If we want better workplaces, it’s not enough to be one of the good ones. We must also be multipliers of what’s good.

We can do better. And we must.

Let’s stop treating burnout as the cost of ambition. Let’s make empathy more than a trending topic. Let’s make it the standard.