ENOUGH ALREADY! YOUR INNER CRITIC IS HIJACKING YOUR IMPACT

This article has been reposted from The Grip Mastery Playbook at The Plenteous Life.

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That critical voice in your head isn’t harmless. It’s steering your leadership off course.

Jamie Kern Lima did everything "right." She poured herself into growing IT Cosmetics from her living room to a billion-dollar acquisition. But it was all driven by a quiet, insistent voice: “You’re not enough.” Even after massive milestones, that voice returned. Over time, she sensed her hustle wasn’t strategy; it was compensation for an inner deficit no accolade could satisfy.

Jamie isn’t alone. Studies suggest as many as 80–85% of entrepreneurs wrestle with feelings of unworthiness, often disguised as ambition. That silent war doesn’t just drain energy; it hijacks impact. It shapes how leaders treat themselves, and eventually, how they treat everyone around them.

Today in The Grip, we’re exposing the overlooked relationship with the greatest power to advance—or sabotage—your mission: your relationship with yourself. It sets the ceiling on your leadership. If your inner critic runs unchecked, it becomes your default operating system. Upgrade it, and you upgrade everything else along with it.

Ready to create a relationship with yourself that actually works? This issue is for you.

 Let’s dive in.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU

How You Treat Yourself Shapes What You Create

You have a relationship with yourself. It’s formed early by family, culture, wins and wounds, and it sets the boundaries of what looks possible. If, deep down, you believe you are broken, deficient, or never enough, every achievement becomes an attempt to compensate. Instead of serving vision, you end up a slave to your perceived deficit.

Research shows a staggering percentage of leaders don’t actually like themselves. They tolerate their inner voice the way they’d tolerate an abusive boss; harsh, critical, and demanding. If we could hear the inner dialogue of many high performers, it would be labeled neglect at best, and mental abuse at worst: I’m not enough. Something’s wrong with me. I’m a failure and fraud. I’m just not worth it.

This inner mistreatment has tangible consequences:

• Burnout and health collapse from proving worth through overwork.

• Relationships strained by impossible demands, hidden resentment or withdrawal.

• Companies stalled because creativity is strangled by self-condemnation.

The search for external validation becomes a treadmill with no finish line. It’s exhausting. And it simply doesn’t work.

How You Treat Yourself Shapes How You Lead

Unlike Vegas, what happens inside doesn’t stay inside. Leaders often claim, “I’m harder on myself than I am on others.” It isn’t true. You’re only harder on yourself until…the shit hits the fan. Under stress, whatever pattern you’ve been practicing toward yourself becomes your default mode with others.

If your inner voice is condemning, your team will eventually be on the receiving end of it. If you’re impatient with yourself, your kids and spouse will eventually bear it. You might hide it well in good times, but crisis squeezes out what you’ve been cultivating within. And only always.

As someone who was once highly skilled and practiced at berating myself mentally, I know the futility of white-knuckling kindness toward others while secretly despising myself. It was a house of cards that eventually collapsed. When I began treating myself with compassion, patience, and love, everything shifted. Kindness stopped being an effort-filled performance and became an effortless, natural byproduct.

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The Paradoxical Selflessness of Self-Love

Have you heard that self-love is selfish? I don’t know who started that terrible rumor, but it just isn’t so. Selfishness isn’t born from too much self-love; it’s born from too little. A leader who withholds love from themselves creates a bottomless pit of need, constantly seeking affirmation, attention, or control from others. No amount of achievement or success will compensate for that deficit.

By contrast, leaders who practice loving themselves become fountains of generosity. They give freely without strings attached. They can sacrifice without resentment. They create cultures of aliveness and possibility, because they live from abundance, not scarcity.

Your leadership will never outgrow your relationship with yourself. The voice you cultivate inside you becomes the experience you create for others. If it’s harsh and condemning, that’s what will spill out. If it’s compassionate and empowering, that’s what will multiply.

This isn’t sentimentality. It’s strategy. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for your leadership, the resilience of your team, and the reach of your mission.

Crisis squeezes out what you’ve been cultivating within. And only always.

This week, don’t just invest in your team, your clients, or your vision. Invest in the one relationship that determines them all—your relationship with yourself. Because when you treat yourself as enough already, you become a leader capable of creating more than enough for everyone you touch.

If you are already subscribed to The Grip through email, make sure to check your inbox for this issue; we’ve included a powerful guide to help you help you establish a kind, compassionate relationship with yourself. If you’re not yet subscribed and want access to additional self-mastery tools like this, join our community today at plenteouslife.com/thegrip, and you’ll get new tools as we make them available.

Invest in your relationship with you. Treat yourself at least as kind as you would your dearest friend.

Keep creating!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. Why is self-criticism dangerous for leaders? It sabotages creativity, drains energy, and hijacks impact.

2. How does self-relationship shape leadership? The voice you practice inside becomes the tone you use with others.

3. What’s the strategic benefit of self-compassion? It fuels resilience, generosity, and sustainable impact.

May you prosper in every way 🖖

Becky & TPL Team