Ep. 0: Why I Started a Podcast About Being a Modern Man

From Audio to Article: The Story Behind 'Ordinary But Unique' Podcast. Reflections on fatherhood, identity, and redefining success in today's world.

For those who prefer reading to listening, here's the written version of my debut podcast episode—the personal story behind why I started this journey.

Hello, I'm Yenson She. After nearly a year of procrastinating, I finally pressed record and launched this side project that's been on my mind for a long time.

In this first episode — now in article form — I share the six questions I often get when I talk about the podcast and my honest answers to them. Whether you're reading this or listening to the audio version, think of this as a coffee chat between us, where I reflect on what inspired me to start this conversation and what being a modern man means to me today.

🎧 Prefer audio? Listen to the full episode on Spotify: [link] 📖 Prefer reading? You're in the right place — keep scrolling.

Why am I starting this podcast?

In the last couple of years, I’ve wanted to start a side project outside of work — maybe it’s a mid-career crisis, or just a growing urge to figure out what truly matters to me. I know a lot of my friends in their early 30s are feeling the same — searching for something more meaningful in life beyond the day-to-day grind.

So I wanted to build something that feels meaningful and impactful — something that represents who I am, and that I can feel proud of.

But the search wasn’t straightforward. Most of the ideas I had were already done — and done well — by others. Sometimes, I didn’t see a clear gap. More importantly, I wasn’t passionate enough about those ideas to go all in.

I explored sharing use cases of technology for good on Instagram. I thought about building an impact consulting network for the social innovation space. I even considered ways to support underprivileged kids in education. All great ideas — just not my calling.

Then everything changed. I became a father — my daughter is now one-and-a-half — and my own father passed away last year. Those two life moments completely flipped my perspective. They made me reflect deeply on the kind of man I want to be — not only for my daughter and family, but also for myself.

That’s how this podcast came to life: as a space to explore what it means to be a better man, through conversations with others and with myself. I hope this becomes a journey of reflection and growth — for me, and hopefully for anyone listening or reading too.

So what does "being a modern man" mean to me personally?

I believe everyone sees it a little differently — there’s a wide spectrum of values and beliefs. But I don’t really agree with the one-sided, old-school ideas — like always being tough, never showing emotions, or needing to be in control.

To me, that sounds more like letting outdated social expectations take over.

Being a modern man is more about being caring, emotionally aware, and present for our families and friends. It’s about being responsible and respectful — to ourselves and others — and not feeling ashamed of vulnerability or failure.

I think a successful modern man shouldn’t be measured only by career achievements or social status, but by who he is as a whole person.

Do I see any gaps in conversations about being a modern man?

Absolutely.

We just don’t talk enough about how to be a modern man. In Hong Kong — where I was born and raised — and in many Asian cultures, academic success is heavily emphasized. But raising boys to become emotionally mature, self-aware men? That’s never really been part of the curriculum.

Learning how to understand and express emotions is often deprioritized — especially compared to exam scores or school rankings.

Even as adults, a man’s success is often judged by superficial things — like the watch he wears, the car he drives, how much money he makes — and how well he hides his struggles.

This leads to performative success and social bragging, rather than genuine connection. Worse, it becomes a cycle. These traditional stereotypes get passed down to the next generation — and kids grow up craving recognition while lacking the self-confidence to just be themselves.

What can listeners expect from this podcast?

I want to use this podcast to share real stories and perspectives about what being a modern man means today.

I’ll start by chatting with friends and classmates from around the world — people with different cultural and professional backgrounds. I’ll also reflect on my daily life, especially as a father, and share personal lessons along the way.

The conversations will be genuine and personal — covering relationships, fatherhood, struggles, and moments of joy. One idea I have is to ask each guest around five core questions, such as:

• “What does being a man in your culture mean to you? What do you like about it, and what do you struggle with?”

• “What has being a father taught you?”

• “For my female guests: What traits do you find truly attractive in a man?”

By asking these questions across cultures and life experiences, I believe we’ll uncover stories and insights that help us rethink what it means to be a better man today.

Have I personally struggled with what it means to be a man?

Of course.

Especially since becoming a father, I constantly ask myself: what kind of man do I want to be for my daughter?

I still remember when I first found out I was going to be a dad — it was emotional. I told myself, "I want to create a better world for my daughter to grow up in — and help her learn how to make it even better."

It may sound abstract, but she’s given me a reason to reflect on my values, my blind spots, and my ego. She’s helped me unlearn bad habits and start becoming a better version of myself.

And I’ve realized something important: as parents, we are the world for our children. If I can become a better person, I’m already building a better world for her.

I still have a lot to learn. It’s not easy — and that’s the point. Parenting is hard because being a good parent takes real work. But I’m here for it — because of her.

Why is the podcast called "Ordinary but Unique"?

I’ve always loved this phrase. It sounds like a contradiction — but it applies to all of us.

Biologically, humans are 99.9% identical. But at the same time, no two people are exactly the same — not even identical twins. And philosophically, we’re different from who we were yesterday.

As humans, we’re constantly seeking connection and common ground. But we also want to feel unique — like we matter, like we have a reason to exist on this planet.

With this podcast, I want to explore both sides: how we’re similar, and how we’re different. I want to have the compassion and self-awareness to appreciate that we are all… ordinary but unique.

Building This Together

This newsletter started as my personal quest to understand modern masculinity, but it's becoming something bigger—a community of people asking better questions about what it means to be human in today's world.

Whether you prefer listening 🎧 or reading 📖, you're part of this journey now. Catch up on podcast episodes at Ordinary But Unique on Spotify.

Your turn: What's one belief about masculinity you've had to unlearn? I'm genuinely curious about your experience. 💬 Let’s have a conversation