Every Move You Make: The Unexpected Influence of Being the Boss

Every Move You Make: The Unexpected Influence of Being the Boss

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People are listening. Like it or not, you’re under the microscope.

When you become the boss, you are under the microscope. People do listen to you in an intense way you never experienced before you became a manager. They attribute meaning— sometimes accurately, sometimes not—to what you say, to the clothes you wear, to the car you drive. 

In some ways, becoming a boss is like getting arrested. Everything you say or do can and will be used against you. When he led Goldman Sachs, Bob Rubin once walked the trading floor to get a feel for what was going on. He stopped and chatted with a trader who’d just completed a transaction buying gold. “I like gold,” Bob said offhandedly. A few weeks later, Bob was startled to see how much gold the firm had bought recently. 

“Why are we so long on gold?” Bob asked. “ Because you told us to. You said you liked gold!” was the response. Bob thought he was just making a friendly remark, not giving a “buy” order.

When I was at Apple, somebody told me that the bus program to shuttle employees back and forth between Cupertino and San Francisco had been delayed because Steve had to choose the leather for the interior of the buses. I happened to have lunch with the director of the bus program and asked him if the story was true. 

He laughed: “No.” But when I then asked him how the color scheme of the buses had been chosen, he admitted that he’d gone to the parking lot and taken a look at Steve’s car: silver exterior with black leather seats. So the buses? Silver exterior with black leather seats.

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You don’t have to be Bob Rubin or Steve Jobs to have a bigger impact than you intend to as the boss. Early in my career, I said to a salesman who tended to wear black shiny shirts, “I sure do like a man in a white oxford.” I was chagrined to see that the very next day he showed up in a white oxford, and for every day for a week after that. Of course, I had been dropping a hint. But I was new to being a boss and totally unused to having people take my hints so seriously.

Often when you’re the boss you might say or do something you expect to be blown off, whereas in fact you’ve moved way further out on the “challenge directly” axis than you had intended to. So now what? I go much more in depth about this in Radical Candor, 40% off for a limited time.

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Radical Respect is a weekly newsletter I am publishing on LinkedIn to highlight some of the things that get in the way of creating a collaborative, respectful working environment. A healthy organization is not merely an absence of unpleasant symptoms. Creating a just working environment is about eliminating bad behavior and reinforcing collaborative, respectful behavior. Each week I'll offer tips on how to do that so you can create a workplace where everyone feels supported and respected. Learn more in my new book Radical Respect, available wherever books are sold! You can also follow Radical Candor® and the Radical Candor Podcast more tips about building better relationships at work.

Behrouz Abdolali

Hardware Engineer at CROUSE (P.J.S) Co.

1mo

Thank you, Kim. What you said about the leader being under a microscope is really true. It can easily lead to misunderstandings, and that’s why I feel the need to explain everything carefully. For example, I remember once asking a colleague about the progress of a task. She explained what she had done so far and what was planned next. However, the work was behind schedule. I thanked her for her explanation and encouraged her to continue: “Go ahead and keep working.” Unfortunately, she understood that as me being satisfied with the current schedule and that the delay was acceptable to me. Later, I even heard from her direct leader that “apparently the delay is accepted.” No, no, no, I had only asked some questions about the work. Since that experience, I always make sure to clearly state that the timing reference is the Gantt chart, and that I’m just asking to understand the status of the work.

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Galina Pachalova

Human Relations | Organizational and Individual Development | Succession Planning | Communication | | Hogan Certified Consultant

1mo

Thanks for sharing. Fully agree with you. I've experienced it myself :)

The Blind Blogger Maxwell Ivey

👨🦯 Former carnival owner, trail blazing accessibility advisor, award-winning author, engaging keynote speaker, and host of The Accessibility Advantage. Leveraging the disability market together.

1mo

Hi Kim, As The Blind Blogger I was surprised and am still surprised to learn who has benefitted by my actions. People I never spoke to directly, or ever met in person; but I had an impact. I inspired them to overcome something in their life that was holding them back. And now I'm doing that again as an example of how achieving accessibility will depend more on sharing whys than on requiring hows. Keep up the great work, Maxwell

Troy Coleman

Principal at Coleman & Associates Consultants

1mo

Kim; your premise is so true. We never really know who is watching us, modeling after watching what we do, and shifting their perspective based on their respect for the model we present. Gotta keep it real and be mindful.

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