The Favorite Uncle: He Taught Me Lessons in Simple Kindness

Last evening, as I stood on my balcony enjoying the sunshine after days of rain, I spotted two elderly men taking their daily walk. One of them made me smile instantly. He's my favorite person in our gated community.

Ever since he first noticed me years ago, he stops to chat. He complimented my wild hair colors during that phase and later asked why I'd stopped being myself when I returned to natural tones. This man is loved by every age group in our society, from one-year-olds waving from their prams to two-year-olds who pause their cycling to greet him.

I quickly walked down to meet him after months of avoiding social interactions. As someone who prefers solitude and limits myself to a strict few relationships, this encounter sparked something unexpected.

The Moment of Clarity

Struggling with my next newsletter topic, inspiration smacked me in the face: I should write about being nice.

The three rounds of walking with him and his friend and watching him interact with a hesitant two-year-old, I realized he didn't see this as an interruption to his walk. He stopped and engaged completely. My first revelation hit: there are no interruptions in life, only opportunities to connect.

Two minutes later, he was chatting with a sixteen-year-old about her dance classes and introduced me to her. By the end of our walk, I'd connected with a dozen neighbors I usually just nod to politely.

The Secret Ingredient

"You have such a nice vibe and are genuinely kind," I told him. "Where did you learn that?"

His face lit up unexpectedly. For twenty minutes, he explained the importance of upbringing and being a good human being. "Nothing is more important than being a good human being," he said simply.

Being universally loved sounds exhausting, but genuine kindness isn't a performance. It's simply moving through the world acknowledging that every person you encounter is fighting unknown battles, celebrating unheard victories, and hoping someone will see them as worthy of attention and care.

Finding Your Why

The secret lies in curiosity. Genuinely curious people want to hear everyone's story.

Most people go through their days feeling invisible. When you make someone feel truly seen, something magical happens. They remember how you made them feel long after forgetting your words. Maya Angelou was right about that.

People often treat kindness like a finite resource that might run out. But kindness isn't like money or time. The more you give, the more you have. When I pay extra to help an Uber driver fix the puncture or give the security guard cold drinks and some snacks on scorching days, I don't feel depleted. I feel enriched.

When You Don't Feel Kind

Some mornings, I wake up grumpy and snap at anyone who crosses my path. I've learned to notice these darker moods, but more importantly, I've discovered that feelings follow actions more than actions follow feelings.

When I force myself to smile at a stranger in a café or compliment someone's haircut despite my mood, something shifts inside me. The kindness I offer returns multiplied.

Once, I approached a visibly annoyed elderly woman with a smart haircut, complimented her, and asked about her stylist. We discovered we shared the same one, leading to a delightful five-minute conversation about our favorite cuts.

The Authentic Connection

When I make faces at babies in grocery lines or ask five-year-olds about their dinosaur t-shirts or the toy they are holding, I'm meeting them in their natural state of openness and wonder. They sense my authentic interest, not a performance for their parents.

The truth is, I'm selfish in my kindness. Making others feel good makes me feel good. It gives my days structure and meaning, and I hope that some people in my neighborhood might look forward to our brief encounters.

The Real Secret

Being loved by everyone isn't about being perfect, wise, or endlessly patient. It's about showing up as your authentic self and treating every interaction as an opportunity to add joy to the world.

Behind every face is a universe of hopes, fears, dreams, and disappointments. Acknowledging that universe, even briefly, is one of the most profound gifts you can offer.

People who are universally loved aren't trying to be loved by everyone. They simply love everyone openly, without expecting anything in return.

They understand that in our increasingly disconnected world, choosing kindness is both radical and natural.

The thing about being nice, really nice, is that it requires nothing extraordinary from you. It simply asks that you remember people are worth your attention.