Find your music - whatever it is

All of us have things that light us up, things that inspire us and give us joy. We are living in a time when it feels like animosity, tension and negativity are off the charts. My theory? Those "joy-causing" things are more important to us now than ever before.

Mine has always been singing.

My parents are both musical so our house was full of it. I sang in choirs, performed whenever I could. But life got busy and my work took over. Suddenly you wake up and you are 40 and stopped singing.

That changed for me because of a piano bar called Sorry Charlies. It was a bit of an institution in Seattle and my sister took me there for my 40th birthday. I was a nervous wreck, thinking the amazing accompanist, the late Howard Bulson, wouldn't be too impressed. To my delight, he asked me to keep singing. After a few songs, he asked me (though a haze of smoke) where I sang. I stammered, "I'm not a singer. I am a stay at home mom right now. I volunteer. I do a little work. My kids are pretty small...." He said, "M'dear, that's what you do. What you ARE is a singer." 15 years later and that still makes me smile.

For the next ten years, I made time to sing. I joined a choral group, sang in a big band, sang lead in a jazz trio, joined a gospel group and sang in a lot of musicals in my small community. Some of my best memories are singing in musicals when my kids were little and they were also cast. I found time over the years even with kids in grade school. Sometimes, when I had a gig, my husband would have to swoop in and grab kids at a rehearsal. We all had to stretch a little bit. But I never once considered pulling back from music. I made time for it, even when the kids were small and I was running a small business from home.

But then a few years ago, it happened again. As my time at work in Seattle grew and my responsibilities grew, I stopped singing as much. My commute is long. I was never able to make it to rehearsals on time. So slowly I stopped participating. Now it is just an occasional hobby again.

For me, this causes a kind of yearning. When I am not singing, I feel itchy, unsettled. And singing is like being in a sport -- if you don't use it, you get rusty. Your ability to read music starts slipping. But mainly, I am just not as happy.

As I thought of how to make time for music, I realized I will always find an occasional way to sing, whether it is fundraiser or a small group. But the opportunities come and go. What I need is a commitment - a time saved just for music on a regular basis.

So I found a work-around. I auditioned and joined the Seattle Women's Chorus, with rehearsals closer to my work. I'm back! Last week we had our first rehearsal and I found myself instantly enjoying it all - the warm-ups, the reading new music, finding the notes, bonding with new companions.

As we sang, I kept realizing I was smiling. In fact, I am sure my new friends thought I was the happiest person on earth. As I sat up straight, looked at the director over the music, tapped my foot, found the notes... I just thinking of the number of times in my life I have done exactly that. I thought of all of the memories, all of the shows, all of the friendships. And I was just so excited to begin again.

It made me realize how important music is in my life and how I have to guard it vigilantly. I have to find room for it, no matter how hard that may be. I think everyone has these things that feed their soul. Yours may be cooking, exercising, painting, traveling. Whatever it is, it takes you away from work and provides a whole other world for you. It keeps your work in perspective and gives you a place and time to play. It gives you something positive in a world where we all need it.

I've been thinking of this a lot lately. My Mom is a lifelong pianist. Now, as a retired school teacher, she teaches piano. But that wasn't enough. About a decade ago, she started composing. Now, in her mid-80s, she has made some CDs and even had her music performed in recitals and by a local orchestra. As I watch her prepare for her next performance, I smile at our similarities, imagining the many performances ahead for me -- the rehearsal, the warm-ups, the friendships, the audiences.

I want to keep that smile. It may mean juggling here or there, making adjustments in other plans. But I can always find a way.

Find what it is that causes the same feeling in you and make time for doing what you love. It will me everything else you do... a little more lovely.

Lauri Hennessey is a lower 2nd Soprano in the Seattle Women's Chorus and is now preparing for a concert in April. Her favorite musical memory is performing as one of the leads in "Annie" in community theater with her daughter as one of the orphans. In her real life, she is Vice President of Engagement at Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle.