Finding True Success: When Career Ambition Meets Life's Real Priorities

What does it mean to truly succeed when ambition collides with life's deeper callings?  For years, I've wrestled with this question, a quiet refrain amplified each May during Mental Health Awareness Month.  My understanding of success has shifted, sculpted by triumphs, setbacks, and an ever changing pursuit of meaning.

As a graduate of West Point, ambition was etched into our souls.. We joked about being overachievers, future generals, doctors, lawyers, CEOs. Many of my classmates achieved those lofty goals—CEOs, COOs and some generals.  We produced Olympians and congressmen too.  Their victories, while inspiring, stirred a restless doubt: Have I kept pace?  Yet, in this discomfort and over time, I have found clarity that contentment is not measured by titles alone.

Here’s the thing I've learned: some of my biggest professional triumphs came during times of personal turmoil. Those successes, while real, felt...hollow. It hit me hard – professional accolades ring hollow when your personal life is in disarray. True contentment demands balance; a thriving career and the quiet joys that anchor us.

Life balance is a fleeting, personal process, evolving with time. My family needs shift, as do those of the teams I guide.  Each moment demands a recalibration of priorities.

The key, I discovered, is identifying what contentment looks like right now!  Don’t confuse contentment with complacency!  Webster’s Dictionary says that contentment is, “a state of being in which one is satisfied with their current life situation, and the state of affairs in one's life as they presently are.” While complacency is, “self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies.”  These words are very similar, but also very different!  I know that I am not the perfect husband, father, employee or leader.  I’ve come to realize that no one is perfect!

When I first left the Army, my vision was clear: COO/CEO by 40. Even deployments and career shifts to IT didn’t shake that goal. CIO by 40 was the new target. Then, life unfolded. I met my wife. Then children. Suddenly, staying late at the office didn’t feel so urgent. Coaching my son’s little league and reading Harry Potter to my daughter became non-negotiable priorities. I started to realize that maybe, just maybe, the C-suite wasn't the only measure of success.

Here’s my takeaway: Have a bold dream, but be flexible with the path to get there. Focus on finding contentment in the present. You can build that foundation for your big dreams while embracing joy in the everyday. Take pride in mentoring a co-worker or the next generation of leaders. Celebrate your team’s victories. Feel the warmth of helping your child through a tough math problem. Be a good friend to someone.  Witness the spark in your child’s eyes when he/she pushes to excel in sports.

I didn't reach CIO by 40 and the C-suite at 50 feels distant. Yet, I am at peace.  I take immense pride in championing for my team. I cherish watching my children blossom into incredible young adults. Life isn’t a straight line – it’s full of unexpected detours and yes, missteps. Yet it's this journey that has shaped me into the husband, father, and leader I am today.

Maybe I wasn’t ready for the C-suite at 40; capable but unseasoned. Today, I'm content. If the opportunity arises, I'll seize it!  If not, I'll be the fiercest advocate for my teams and my children.

What does balance look like for you and how do you weave your dreams into the life you are living now?