From Soft to Strong: The New Face of Tech Leadership

I recently did some research and deep dives on attracting and retaining female talent in group technology, and something one of the respondents said really stuck with me:

"You have to act like a man to succeed."

You don’t have to act like a man to succeed in tech or anywhere.

And frankly, the best male leaders I’ve worked with are… soft. (and this is a compliment!)

They’re empathetic, calm, collaborative. They listen more than they speak. They create space for others to contribute and thrive. That’s not weakness, it’s emotional intelligence.

And in today’s tech environment, it’s a superpower. It’s a common belief, and an outdated one. The idea that only one leadership style is valid (usually dominant, assertive, and ego-driven) is exactly why so many women don’t feel seen or supported in the tech space.

Let’s look at the numbers:

• In South Africa, women hold just 23–24% of ICT roles. That’s around 56,000 women out of 236,000 tech jobs.
• In fields like AI, cloud computing, and data, areas that are growing rapidly the numbers are even lower.
• And despite huge progress, we’re still seeing women leaving the industry earlier and more often than men.

(Please don’t go! We need you!)

So what can we do?

While structural change is essential, there are also things women can do right now to be more visible and valued in the workplace.

Here are a few thoughts I’d like to share, things that have helped me, and that I’ve seen work for others:

• Speak up. Even if your idea isn’t perfect. Share it anyway. 
• Make your work visible. Track your wins, share your impact, and invite feedback.
• Ask for what you want. A seat at the table, a project lead role, a mentor. Don’t wait to be chosen.
• Find your allies. Build a network. Look for sponsors who’ll champion you behind closed doors.
• Lead in your own way. You don’t need to be loud to be confident. Own your style. 
• Keep learning. Stay curious. Stay current. Growth builds confidence, and confidence builds presence.
• And finally, and most importantly, you don’t need to change who you are to succeed.

You just need to show up. Clearly. Consistently. Unapologetically. That’s what drives real impact, real influence, and real change.

Let’s keep pushing for environments where women don’t feel like outsiders, where diverse leadership is the norm, and where no one feels like they have to pretend to belong.

#WomenInTech #SouthAfrica #Leadership #Inclusion #BankingTech #FutureOfWork #RepresentationMatters