The Game No One Taught You How to Play

I am writing this article in May of 2025, with the target audience of early career / new graduates that will be entering the workforce in a few weeks.

Congratulations - You have put in the work, you have invested the time and effort to be graduating in (insert major that you chose). Exciting times!

But - It's tough out there - have no doubt. Hard to find a job and I/we have many articles on this subject already published. So let's jump ahead to a future where you found and successfully interviewed and negotiated a starting date and salary (WELL DONE!).

You now need to adjust to a whole new world. Welcome to corporate America. You’ve got the skills. You’ve got the degree. You’ve got the drive. Attitude and aptitude - check and check. Ready to shake it up and make a difference!

But here’s what no one tells you: hard work isn’t enough.

It should be. But it’s not.

There’s a hidden playbook - a set of unwritten rules that determine who gets ahead and who stays stuck. Some people grow up learning these rules at the dinner table. Others figure them out the hard way, after missed promotions, frustrating feedback, and the slow realization that effort alone won’t open the right doors.

So let’s talk about those rules. And more importantly, let’s talk about how you can use them to win on your own terms - without losing yourself in the process.

Your Work Won’t Speak for Itself, You Have to Speak for It

You can be the hardest worker in the room. The smartest. The most prepared. But if no one knows what you’re doing, you don’t exist.

Corporate America isn’t a meritocracy. It’s a visibility game. Promotions go to the people whose work is seen, talked about, and championed by others.

So how do you make sure you’re seen?

• Stop letting your manager take all the credit. If you did the work, present it. Own it. Put your name on it.
• Talk about your wins. Not in a braggy way - just in a “hey, here’s what I did and the impact it had” kind of way.
• Find a sponsor, not just a mentor. Mentors give advice. Sponsors open doors. You need both, but the sponsor is the one who gets you promoted.

Example: A young engineer kept getting passed over for leadership roles. Her mentor told her, “You’re doing great work, but no one knows about it.” She started leading project updates instead of letting her boss do it. Within a year, she got promoted.

The People Who Get Ahead Build Relationships - Not Just Resumes

You know those after-work happy hours? The random hallway chats? The quick coffee breaks? That’s where a lot of career growth actually happens. NOT sitting at home in your bunny slippers in a 'remote' job.

Because like it or not, decisions in corporate America don’t just happen in conference rooms. They happen in the spaces between meetings, where relationships are built and trust is formed.

Here’s how to play the game (without feeling fake):

• Engage in small talk. Yes, it feels awkward. Do it anyway. Ask people about their weekend. Remember their dog’s name. These little moments add up.
• Network in all directions. Your peers, your manager, your manager’s manager - build relationships at every level.
• Join Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) (also called Special Interest or Affinity groups in some companies). Find people who get it. Build your network inside the company, not just outside it. If you are working for a smaller company - maybe start something - look for common ties and bonds to uplevel your network and circle of influence.

Example: A young woman in tech never went to company social events. One day, on a recommendation from her mentor, she joined a leadership-focused ERG. There, she met a VP who later became her sponsor. That one connection changed her career trajectory.

Confidence Beats Competence (But You Need Both)

Who do you think gets promoted?

A) The person who knows the most?

Or

B) The person who looks like they know the most?

Answer: The second one.

Unfair? Yes. Reality? Also yes.

This doesn’t mean you should fake it. It means you need to project confidence - because people follow people who seem sure of themselves.

Here’s how:

• Drop weak language. Stop saying “I think” or “I just wanted to.” Say, “I recommend” or “I propose.”
• Own your space. Stand tall. Speak clearly. No shrinking. No apologizing for existing.
• Prepare for big moments. Rehearse before big meetings. Walk in like you belong - because you do.

Example: A newly graduated tech professional kept getting interrupted in meetings. He realized he was hedging his statements with (wishy washy?) comments that undercut his confidence in himself “I’m not sure, but maybe we could…” He started stating ideas with confidence. People started listening. Was he right all the time? Absolutely not but he changed his delivery and engagement to come with a point of view backed with confidence.

You Will Face Bias. Pick Your Battles.

If you’re from a marginalized background, you will encounter microaggressions, unconscious bias, and sometimes, outright discrimination. If you are a younger professional you will face ageism (yes it happens to young people too) and possible disrespect of your abilities based on youth and perceived experience.

It’s exhausting. And unfair.

You can’t fight every battle. But you can fight strategically.

• Call it out when necessary. If someone interrupts you, say, “I’d like to finish my thought before we move on.”
• Find allies. A trusted colleague can amplify your voice when you’re being ignored. This is not a pity party and an opportunity to complain / commiserate. This is an opportunity to work together to help each other and prop each other up.
• Protect your energy. Some battles aren’t worth fighting. If a company isn’t valuing you, leave.

Example: A young woman in a leadership meeting kept having her ideas restated by male colleagues. She teamed up with an ally, who made a point to say, “I’d like to go back to what [her name] just said.” This small move shifted the dynamic.

Your Manager Can Make or Break Your Career - Learn to Manage Up

Your relationship with your boss is one of the biggest factors in your success. You don’t have to be best friends. But you do have to make their job easier, so they’ll advocate for you.

How?

• Understand what they care about. Align your work with their priorities. ASK
• Anticipate their needs. Solve problems before they ask. UNDERSTAND the MISSION
• Adapt to their style. Some bosses love details. Others want quick bullet points. Learn their preference and adjust. BE FLEXIBLE

Example: An early-career employee kept getting vague feedback. She started sending her manager a weekly update: “Here’s what I did, here’s the impact, here’s what’s next.” Her manager started seeing her as a higher performer. She did not wait to be told to do this, she recognized that there was a communications gap and took action.

Hate To Say It - BUT - Sometimes, the Best Move Is to Leave

Loyalty won’t get you a raise. Staying in a bad job won’t earn you a medal.

At some point, you have to ask yourself: Is this job serving me? Or am I just afraid to leave?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/loyalty-trap-staying-just-because-you-like-your-likely-ron-melanson--drqre/

• Keep your resume updated. Even when you love your job. Always be ready.
• Make it a point to apply for and even interview for a new role annually. No better way to understand your worth as you add skills and experiences than to test the waters in the open market. It will also keep your skills sharp
• Build an external network. Don’t wait until you’re miserable to start looking. Use your Alumni network, or professional organization to make connections that matter.
• Know your worth. If your company won’t pay you what you deserve, another one likely will.
• Do not leave your current job until you have secured a replacement - planful vs emotional.
• When giving notice, be professional. Expect the current company to do one of the following:

1/ Accept your resignation and 'professional' 2 weeks notice and keep you working to transition to someone else

2/ Accept your resignation and 'professional' 2 weeks notice but ask you to leave immediately

3/ Accept your resignation and 'professional' 2 weeks notice but come back with a counteroffer for you to stay. Personally I am not a fan of this because if you meant that much to them they would have worked with you (assuming you had an honest discussion prior) before your resignation.

I have personally experienced all 3 at various times across my career. You are causing the company pain and discomfort and they don't like pain and discomfort. They can act professionally (#1,#3) or they can not (#2). Have no expectations other than the fact that you are leaving and you won't be disappointed.

Example: A recently graduated software engineer who landed their first job found out she was being underpaid in comparison to her peers with similar experience and backgrounds. She asked for a raise. They stalled. She found another job that paid her 40% more. She left. Best decision she ever made.

However, the grass may be greener but the water bill may be higher is an old saying. So know what you are getting into as best you can before you leave.

Summary:

Corporate America wasn’t designed for everyone. BUT odds are that you won't become an influencer so.......

Once you understand the unspoken rules, you can stop playing on hard mode.

• Be visible. Make sure the right people see your work.
• Build relationships. Success isn’t a solo sport.
• Project confidence. Even when you don’t feel it (yet).
• Pick your battles. Don’t waste energy where it won’t change anything.
• Manage up. Your boss can be your biggest advocate—or your biggest blocker.
• Know when to leave. The right environment makes all the difference.

No one teaches you this stuff in school. But now you know.

I hope that you can take this information and go build the career you deserve.