Give Yourself Permission To Be You

"We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one." — Confucius

If there’s one lesson I wish I had fully embraced earlier in life, it’s this:

Give yourself permission to be you.

Permission to follow your curiosity. To pursue joy without guilt. To define success on your own terms. Even when the world around you offers a thousand other templates.

For much of my 20s, I told myself I wasn’t ready. That I wasn’t smart enough, creative enough, disciplined enough. I looked around at my peers — impressive accomplishments, perfect LinkedIn profiles — and quietly internalized that I was somehow behind. I externalized my limits. I told myself stories like:

• I don’t have the right pedigree.
• I need to make more money before I can explore.
• People like me don’t do things like that.

That voice in my head? I used to call him The Demon. Always whispering that I wasn’t ready, that it wasn’t safe, that if I failed, I might never get up again. And for a long time, I believed him.

And so, I postponed. I rationalized. I shrank.

But slowly, things began to shift. Not because some grand opportunity fell into my lap, but because I started giving myself tiny permissions. To say yes to what called me. To say no to what drained me. To follow my gut even when my inner critic screamed.

I took acting classes because I was mesmerized by Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood.

I learned woodworking because I wanted to build things that would outlast me.

I adopted a blue heeler pup who, despite the chaos, helped me walk more, regulate my emotions better, and show up with presence.

I gave myself permission to find and marry the right person for me, and I paid a dear price for doing so. It took years of uncertainty, dating fatigue, negotiating culture and family expectations. But I stopped looking for the perfect story, and instead tuned into resonance — the quiet, steady sense that I could be fully myself with someone.

None of these were part of “the plan.” But each one came from giving myself permission to live the life I felt, not the one I thought I should live.

I used to think life was about accomplishing big things. Now I think it’s about aligning with the quiet truth inside you and taking action from that place. I don’t have it all figured out.

I still struggle with giving myself permission — with self-doubt, with overthinking. I still struggle to hit publish. There’s a voice in me that worries I’ll be seen as an impostor - unoriginal and navel-gazing. Even though these are externalized success metrics, that knowledge isn’t enough to quiet the fear.

It’s not about knowing better. It’s about giving permission.

The real work is choosing to show up and fight through the resistance.

To trust myself and not let fear decide for me.

Your life doesn’t begin when you finally arrive. It begins the moment you give yourself permission to begin.

Today, I'm giving myself permission again: to slow down. I'm on sabbatical. Not as an escape, but as a space to reimagine my work, reinvent myself, and design a life that’s truly mine. I’m writing, building, learning, and reconnecting with nature, letting my interests guide me, and giving myself room to grow along the way. This isn’t time off. It’s time inward. Time to make what’s next truly mine.

Maybe this is your sign, if you’ve been quietly waiting for one

💬 If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you.

Share a lesson you’re living, leave a thought in the comments, or just send a quiet DM. I’m here for it. If you feel ready, add your voice to #LivedLessons and #ShareThePath.

What’s a lesson you’re living that someone else might need to hear?

📷 Forest image via Unsplash

🐘 Elephant photo by me, Kenya (2024)