The Hidden Cost of Approval-Seeking in Leadership

By Ramin Navvabpour- Founder of MindScale Framework

Introduction

Leadership plays a crucial role in shaping an organization's vision, culture, and success. While many leadership traits contribute positively to business outcomes, some underlying psychological patterns can hinder effectiveness. One such factor is the Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking schema, a deep-rooted tendency to seek external validation, which can significantly impact leadership decision-making, workplace culture, and long-term strategy.

Understanding the Approval-Seeking Schema

The Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking schema is a cognitive pattern where individuals prioritize gaining approval and recognition from others over making independent, objective decisions (Young, Klosko, & Weishaar, 2003). Leaders affected by this schema may exhibit behaviors such as:

• Making decisions based on popularity rather than strategic foresight

• Avoiding difficult conversations or conflicts to maintain approval

• Over-relying on praise and validation for self-worth

This tendency is often rooted in early life experiences where self-worth was closely tied to external validation (Young et al., 2003). In leadership roles, this can manifest as a reluctance to take necessary but unpopular actions, ultimately compromising organizational effectiveness.

Prevalence of Approval-Seeking Among Leaders

Research highlights that approval-seeking behavior is relatively common among executives. A study conducted at IMD Business School found that approximately 31% of executives admitted to exhibiting behaviors associated with the Recognition-Seeking schema as either "Mostly" or "Completely True" for them (Kets de Vries, 2020). This suggests that nearly a third of leaders may be influenced by their need for approval in critical decision-making.

Moreover, psychological studies suggest that individuals with traits linked to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)—where approval-seeking behaviors are highly prevalent—make up 3-6% of the general population, with significantly higher rates in clinical settings (Leichsenring et al., 2011). While not all approval-seeking leaders exhibit BPD traits, these statistics highlight the broader psychological prevalence of this schema in the workforce.

Impacts of Approval-Seeking on Leadership Effectiveness

While a desire for approval is not inherently negative, excessive reliance on external validation can lead to dysfunctional leadership patterns that undermine business success. The key consequences include:

1. Compromised Decision-Making: Leaders who prioritize approval may struggle with making unpopular but necessary decisions, leading to stagnation and missed opportunities.

2. Lack of Authentic Leadership: Employees tend to trust and follow leaders who demonstrate confidence and authenticity. Leaders overly focused on seeking approval may come across as inconsistent or inauthentic, weakening their authority and credibility.

3. Increased Workplace Stress: Leaders who constantly seek validation may experience heightened anxiety and stress, which can trickle down to their teams, creating a tense work environment.

4. Groupthink and Lack of Innovation: Approval-seeking can lead to a culture where dissenting opinions are discouraged, resulting in poor decision-making and a lack of innovative solutions.

5. Overburdening of Leaders: Leaders who focus excessively on pleasing others often take on too many responsibilities, leading to burnout and decreased leadership effectiveness.

6. Diminished Organizational Agility: Organizations led by approval-seeking leaders may struggle to adapt to changing market conditions due to fear of making bold strategic moves.

Strategies for Overcoming Approval-Seeking in Leadership

Recognizing and managing the approval-seeking schema is crucial for leaders aiming to enhance their effectiveness. Some key strategies include:

• Developing Self-Validation Skills: Building confidence in independent decision-making by focusing on internal values rather than external approval.

• Encouraging Constructive Feedback: Cultivating a culture where honest discussions are valued rather than feared, helping to mitigate the negative effects of approval-seeking.

• Practicing Assertiveness and Resilience: Strengthening the ability to make difficult decisions without overvaluing external opinions.

• Focusing on Long-Term Impact: Shifting from immediate validation to strategic, long-term leadership effectiveness.

Conclusion

Approval-seeking is a natural human tendency, but when left unchecked, it can weaken leadership effectiveness. By developing self-awareness and adopting strategies to manage this schema, leaders can enhance their decision-making, authenticity, and organizational impact. Strong leadership requires the courage to prioritize long-term success over immediate approval.

As a leader, ask yourself: Are you leading for impact or for approval?

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