Hospitality & Holidays: Why July 4th Still Feels Different

Holidays never quite sit right with me.

This weekend, I found myself back in Minnesota lake country for the 4th of July – a place I’ve visited nearly every summer of my life. Detroit Lakes has always been my escape, yet as a lifelong restaurateur, holidays like this bring up an old, familiar anxiety.

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For those unfamiliar with Minnesota’s lake culture, Detroit Lakes is a historic vacation hub about 50 miles east of Fargo, North Dakota. Nestled among 400+ lakes, it became a summer haven for families from the Dakotas, Montana, and Canada, thanks to the Great Northern Railway built by James J. Hill in the late 1800s. In those days, families spent entire summers there while fathers commuted by train on weekends from Fargo.

By the 1970s, Detroit Lakes was thriving. My dad worked in hotels and restaurants, and that short summer season could make or break his entire year. Starting at age 13, my sister and I worked in his restaurants – washing dishes, bussing tables, cooking meals – while friends were playing baseball or splashing at the public beach.

Those early summers taught me to work hard and play hard, though that mantra carried consequences later in life. But more than anything, it planted a quiet resentment toward holidays. While friends were lighting firecrackers and enjoying barbeques, I was sweating behind fryers, getting burned by grease, or running a meat slicer long before there were age restrictions on such equipment.

In restaurants, holidays weren’t festive – they were exhausting. Thanksgiving meant selling pre-packaged turkey dinners. Christmas Eve meant working up to the minute church services began, only to rush home to family already celebrating. For hospitality workers, celebrating the birth of Christ often happens after the last stubborn customer is peeled away from the bar and the final table is wiped down.

When I became a father, holidays became even more complicated. After grueling hours in the restaurant, I would come home and cook for my own family and guests. The day was spent serving others, at work and at home.

I’ve been out of restaurant operations for nearly two decades now, working in hospitality finance and supporting operators from a different angle. But even today, the anxiety of those long holiday shifts remains embedded in my memory. Just like I’ll never enjoy a cocktail like a normie, I’m not sure I’ll ever experience holidays the way others do. The memories of Holidays in Hospitality shape who I am.

So this past weekend, as I sat under the stars watching fireworks cascade above Detroit Lakes, I focused on gratitude. Gratitude for a fulfilling career in hospitality. Gratitude for the many talented people I’ve worked alongside. Gratitude for those still working hard so others can relax and celebrate.

To all the restaurant, hotel, resort, and campground staff who sacrificed their holiday so others could enjoy theirs – thank you. Somewhere, your family was waiting for you to finish your shift so they could start their celebration.

Wishing you all a safe and happy Independence Day. May the sun shine fairly on your face, and may you always be surrounded by friends, family, and colleagues who appreciate your work and your sacrifice.

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🙏 Your Turn

How do holidays impact your work-life balance in hospitality? Share your reflections in the comments below: