How to Deliver Feedback That Actually Works

A modern take on feedback culture, Radical Candor, and what I’ve learned from doing it wrong.

Upcoming Webinar: Delivering Effective Feedback

If feedback is something you avoid, rush, or deliver with fingers crossed — you’re not alone.

In my next live webinar, I’ll share a fresh, practical approach to feedback:

• Why most leaders get it wrong (even with good intentions)

• How Radical Candor builds trust, not tension

• Simple strategies to make feedback more empowering — and less awkward

📅 Thursday 10th April at 7pm GMT+1 (UK/ Ireland), 2pm ET

Sign up here:

https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/RBVF9Z3_RRygp4DtFHbzxw

Why Feedback Still Strikes Fear

Few workplace phrases trigger more anxiety than:

“Can I give you some feedback?”

Even now, hearing that can make our stomachs drop — because too many of us have received feedback that felt like criticism, character judgment, or just plain confusing.

Feedback shouldn’t feel like punishment. Done well, it strengthens performance, deepens trust, and reinforces culture. Done badly, it erodes confidence and connection.

So, how can we get it right?

Feedback Is a Leadership Muscle

Whether you manage one person or a global team, feedback is one of your most powerful leadership tools. It communicates expectations, shows care, and creates alignment — especially in fast-paced, high-accountability environments.

But like any skill, it needs practice. Feedback that lands well requires:

• Clear intentions

• Thoughtful timing

• Psychological safety

• And, most importantly — courage

This is where frameworks can really help.

From ‘Constructive Criticism’ to Radical Candor

One of the most helpful models I’ve come across is Radical Candor, coined by Kim Scott. It’s simple but powerful:

Radical Candor = Care Personally + Challenge Directly

It’s not about being brutally honest. It’s about being helpfully honest — showing someone that you care enough to tell them the truth, even when it’s hard.

Many leaders fall into other traps:

• Ruinous empathy – being too nice and avoiding the real issue

• Obnoxious aggression – being blunt without care

• Manipulative insincerity – politeness with no honesty or backbone

Radical Candor gives you a new target to aim for — and builds trust over time.

Use the SBI™ Framework to Stay Grounded

For practical delivery, the SBI™ model keeps feedback clear and objective:

• Situation – Describe the when/where

• Behaviour – State the observed behaviour

• Impact – Explain the effect on you, others, or the work

Example:

“In this morning’s meeting (Situation), you interrupted me while I was answering a client question (Behaviour). It made me feel undermined in front of the client (Impact).”

Pairing Radical Candor with SBI™ ensures your feedback is both emotionally intelligent and actionable.

Feedback Builds (or Breaks) Culture

In my work with organisations, one thing is clear:

How feedback is handled reflects the culture.

Is feedback:

• Avoided or normalised?

• Blamed or owned?

• Secretive or transparent?

Great cultures don’t wait for performance reviews to give feedback. They build trust-based systems where feedback flows:

• Upwards (leaders get feedback too)

• Across (peer-to-peer feedback is encouraged)

• Downwards (managers feel equipped, not nervous)

It also aligns beautifully with the Happier at Work pillars:

✅ Culture – feedback that’s values-aligned

✅ Strengths – feedback that builds self-awareness

✅ Drivers – feedback that prioritises development, not perfection

Common Pitfalls (and What I’ve Learned)

Here are just a few feedback fails I’ve learned from:

1️⃣ The unclear promotion conversation

My manager promised a 3-month review. When the time came, he simply said “no” without explanation. When pressed for feedback, he said “it’s the little things” and had to “check the job description.”

🗝️ Lesson: Feedback should be clear, timely, and ongoing — not saved for one big moment.

2️⃣ Delivering someone else’s feedback

Once I was asked to pass on negative feedback from someone else. It was awkward and unproductive.

🗝️ Lesson: If you have feedback, own it. Don’t outsource the discomfort.

3️⃣ Forgetting to give positive feedback

Two of my team members had to ask for feedback — they were doing brilliantly, but I hadn’t told them.

🗝️ Lesson: Don’t make people guess. Proactively share what’s working.

Tips for Giving Better Feedback

✅ Be intentional: What’s the desired outcome?

✅ Be specific: Use real examples

✅ Be timely: The closer to the event, the better

✅ Be kind: Feedback doesn’t mean cold

✅ Be future-focused: Shift from blame to solutions

✅ Be human: Show empathy. This might be hard to hear.

And don’t forget to ask:

“Would you be open to some feedback?”

That small question can open the door to a completely different kind of conversation.

Receiving Feedback Gracefully

Not all feedback will be delivered well — but even so, there’s often value in it.

Here’s how I approach receiving feedback:

• Assume positive intent

• Filter what’s helpful

• Reflect, don’t react

• Use it to grow — not shrink

• Don’t let your ego close the door on insight

💡 Tip: Keep a “praise file” of positive feedback to revisit when self-doubt creeps in.

I'll leave you with this...

There’s a quote I love:

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” – Wayne Dyer

But when it comes to career progression, team harmony, or client relationships…

What the right people think of you absolutely is your business.

Feedback isn’t just personal development. It’s professional strategy.

👉 Want to build a feedback culture in your team?

Join me for my upcoming webinar on:

🎙️ Radical Candor, feedback that lands, and how to stop avoiding tough conversations.

📅 Thursday 10th April at 7pm GMT+1 (UK/ Ireland), 2pm ET

🎟️ Sign up

Let’s open the conversation

What’s your experience with feedback — as a giver or a receiver?

Comment below, I'd love to hear your experiences with feedback.