How to Be Happy

It comes as no surprise to anyone that life is not always a walk in the park. No matter what path you choose in life, there are going to be periods of uncertainty, stress and sadness. C'est la vie! Everyone has their own struggles, or as I have heard it called, "sack of problems" that they must carry. I hear you. You're thinking “Yeah, yeah, Talia. I get it. We all have problems. I thought this post was about happiness...what's your point!?”

Last week I spent a few moments speaking with a homeless vet named Lenny. He told me a bit about his situation and how he came to be homeless. On top of everything, he was also battling cancer. Now, I don’t know if what he told me was the truth or how much of what he said came from a mentally sane place, but I know one thing for certain: this man seemed happy to be alive. I walked away from our conversation stunned and have not been able to stop thinking about it since. This man may never know, but he helped me realize the one thing that's most important to know in this lifetime:

Happiness is a choice.

When we place our measurement of happiness on external things such as our relationships, health, career, whether our team wins the super bowl, what have you, we give away our power and personal right to happiness. Sure, there are actions you can take that will have a short term affect on how happy you are. Sure, there are things that will happen which would cause any person to feel down. But when it comes to long term and true happiness:

You have the freedom and power to be happy whenever you want, no matter what is going on around you.

Happiness is like a muscle that we must keep training. Here are 9 workouts you can do in order to grow:

1. Love yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes! Forgive yourself and stop with the harsh inner talk. You would never speak to someone else that way, so why speak to yourself in that way? You are deserving of success, love, and happiness. Let yourself have it and lighten up a bit wouldja?

2. Move.

You have arms! You have legs! Do you know how many people wish everyday that they had the little things that you don't even think twice about? Take your dog for a walk. Play tag with your children. Get your heart pumping - it’s the most effective medication on the market.

3. Eat fruits and vegetables.

Do it now before they are all computer generated and artificially flavored.

4. Drink water.

Most people are putting their bodies through a drought! Drink eight glasses of water a day. I guarantee that you will feel the difference. 

BONUS: The more water you drink, the more you end up fitting in exercise with trips to the restroom!

5. Take time to appreciate what you have and what you’ve accomplished up to this moment.

It’s gratitude. It’s free. It’s easy.

6. Make time for your loved ones.

Call that friend that crossed your mind the other day. Tell your dad you love him. Giving love will help you attract love and there can never be too much of that.

7. Do work you can be proud of.

If you’re passionate about it, you will give it your all. I remember as a kid, I would come home having failed a class or not making the cut for the soccer team. I would run to my ma and list the ways in which I failed and how bad it made me feel. She would always respond with one question: "Did you do your best?" When the answer was “yes,” she would hug me and say, “then I am proud of you.” That's a good mom right there. 

8. Fight the urge to be afraid.

In a commencement speech given by Steve Jobs before he passed away, he touches on this point. Most people think this is outlandish and morbid when they first hear it, but it is in fact an amazing rule of thumb to live by (I mean, Steve Jobs did and look at what he accomplished). Whenever you feel afraid to do something, remember that you are going to die. Remembering that you are going to die is the greatest way to free yourself from fear. You’re not going to make it out alive anyway, so go out and get what you want while you are here!

9. Have compassion.

This one is very important. At the end of the day and at the end of life, we were all just human beings trying to live out our ~80 years. That's all we get. The resources and security that you have now are largely because you were lucky enough to be born in a place that allowed you the opportunity to acquire it. Many others were not. The best way to bring peace to the world is to start looking at each other as humans. To share. To care. Once your time is up, that's it. You can't take anything with you. Look at the people around you and try to help make their time more enjoyable too because when it comes down to it, that's all we have...time. Once you find happiness in helping others be happy is when you find true peace of mind.

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Happiness is a choice that you can make regardless of your current circumstance. The things that have happened to you are already done - that is not something you can change. Everyone has a metaphorical "sack of problems" that are theirs to carry. The difference is, some people carry them with a smile on their face. I hope you can too.