How to Make Difficult Conversations Simpler
Tash Pieterse
Go from team member to a respected Leader that gets results, drives performance & lands big opportunities | Lead with Less Podcast Host 🎙️ | The People Leadership Coach
In this week’s episode of Lead with Less, we dive into a topic that, while crucial, many find daunting - making difficult conversations simpler.
Note, I’m saying simpler, not easier. There's a big difference, and understanding this can change how you approach these crucial interactions.
The Importance of Simplifying Hard Talks
Difficult conversations are necessary in effective leadership. You can't avoid them forever and hope to build successful teams.
They are the kind you might instinctively avoid because they are unpredictable and uncomfortable. Yet, these are the conversations that create the way for genuine connection, problem solving and growth within your team.
Seven Steps to Simplify Difficult Conversations:
1. Know WHY you want to have the conversation - understanding your reasons clarifies the purpose and helps set up for a productive conversation.
2. Check your ego at the door - egos have no place in difficult conversations and stop honest and real discussion from happening. Check yours before jumping into a conversation.
3. Have the facts clear - be specific about issues with examples to avoid generalisations that can lead to defensiveness and derailing the conversation.
4. Share your story - use “I” statements to share your perspective clearly, helping the other person understand your viewpoint.
5. Hear their story AND deeply listen - listening is just as important as speaking. Be open to having your perspective shifted (be willing to change your mind, even if in the end you don't). Remember, you've had time to prepare, they haven't. Be patient while you listen.
6. Clarify with questions - ask questions to ensure understanding and to express everything you need to during the conversation. Don't leave and then get annoyed that you didn't share what you needed to.
7. Discuss your outcome - share your desired outcome and invite the other person to suggest or comment, acknowledging that they might need time to think things over. Take time out if needed - but make sure to come back and close the conversation.
Focus on the conversation, not whether it's difficult or if it might be difficult. That won't help you show up in the best way.
Focus on how you want it go and what you would like from the outcome - that will support you in creating a space where you can create the best outcomes.
In the full podcast episode, I share actionable advice on how you can have these conversations with confidence.
Whether you're dealing with feedback, boundary setting, or sharing concerns, the tools shared can be applied to different situations.
Listen to the full episode right here, or via the links below:
If you would like to listen on your device or on Apple, click below:
Grab my 1:1 Employee Catch Up Template for Better Conversations & Stronger Connections
Want to run effective, connecting, and empowering 1:1's with your team without the pressure?
Grab my free template that outlines the best questions I ask my teams in our fortnightly/monthly catch ups that make the world of difference!
Something NEW is coming for People Leaders...
The Leaders Lounge
The community for Leaders who want to connect, grow, and Lead with courage and confidence.