How Nervous System Regulation Can Transform Your Well-Being

If you’re looking for more calm, resilience, and meaningful connection in your life, understanding how to regulate your nervous system is key. Nervous system regulation is a set of skills everyone can use to reduce stress, improve relationships, and support both mental and physical health. In this article, you’ll discover how your body’s automatic responses shape your daily experience, learn the core principles of Polyvagal Theory (PVT), and get practical, science-backed techniques to help you thrive.

“Our state is the way in which our nervous system is operating. State is the foundation for how we function, perceive, think, feel and relate.” — Dr. Stephen Porges

What Is the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) and Why Does It Matter?

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) is your body’s internal autopilot, managing vital functions like heart rate, breathing, digestion, and how you respond to stress or relaxation. While it works mostly outside of your conscious control, learning to influence it can help you shift from feeling overwhelmed to calm, or from disconnected to engaged.

The ANS includes the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), which activates the “fight or flight” response and prepares you to react quickly to challenges; the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which promotes “rest and digest” and helps your body recover and restore balance; and the enteric nervous system, sometimes called the “second brain,” which manages digestion and gut health, often in sync with the SNS and PNS.

When these systems are balanced, you feel alert but calm, able to handle challenges without being overwhelmed.

Polyvagal Theory: The Hierarchy and Your Emotional Landscape

Polyvagal Theory (PVT), introduced by Dr. Stephen Porges, offers a new lens for understanding how your body responds to the world—and how you can actively shape those responses.

The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body and a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system, connecting the brain to major organs such as the heart, lungs, and digestive tract. It plays a crucial role in regulating essential involuntary functions—including heart rate, breathing, digestion, and immune response—helping the body maintain balance and recover after stress by promoting the "rest and digest" state. Through its extensive network, the vagus nerve influences mood, inflammation, and even communication between the gut and brain, making it vital for both physical and mental health.

Polyvagal Theory is built on three core principles: the hierarchy of the autonomic nervous system, neuroception, and co-regulation. Let's look at each of them in more detail.

Neuroception is your nervous system’s unconscious ability to detect safety or threat in your environment. It’s always scanning for cues—like a friendly face or a harsh tone—without you even realizing it. These cues drive your movement up or down the hierarchy.

Co-Regulation is the biological need to connect with others for safety and support. Human connection—through eye contact, touch, or even shared laughter—helps regulate your nervous system. This is why a comforting presence or a supportive conversation can help you calm down or feel more energized.

One of the most transformative ideas in PVT is the hierarchy of the autonomic nervous system. The hierarchy describes how your body automatically moves through different states in response to cues of safety or threat, much like climbing up or down a ladder. These states are:

• Ventral Vagal State (Social Engagement): At the top of the hierarchy, your system is calm, open, and connected. You feel safe, can engage with others, think clearly, and experience curiosity and creativity. This is the “rest and digest” mode, but with a special emphasis on social connection and engagement.

• Sympathetic State (Mobilization): When your nervous system detects a potential threat, it shifts into the sympathetic state. Here, you experience the classic “fight or flight” response—heart rate increases, muscles tense, and you’re ready to act. You might feel anxious, restless, or irritable. This state is essential for survival in dangerous situations but can become problematic if you get stuck here.

• Dorsal Vagal State (Shutdown/Immobilization): When a threat feels overwhelming or inescapable, your system moves to the dorsal vagal state. This is a “freeze” or “shutdown” response—marked by numbness, disconnection, or even dissociation. In this state, you may feel hopeless, fatigued, or emotionally flat.

Your body moves up and down this hierarchy automatically throughout the day, depending on how safe or threatened you feel. Recognizing your current state is the first step toward regulation. The metaphor of the ladder, popularized by Deb Dana, helps us visualize these shifts and understand that we move through these states in a predictable sequence, not at random.

I was fortunate to meet and train in person with Deb Dana in early 2020, just before the pandemic. Deb Dana collaborates with Dr. Stephen Porges and she is renowned for translating Polyvagal Theory into clear, accessible language and practical tools. Her work shows how understanding the organizing principles of Polyvagal Theory can change the ways we navigate daily life, relationships, and mental health challenges.

Practical Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System

You can start regulating your nervous system in a more conscious way. Here are some proven techniques you can use today:

• Deep breathing: Slow, deep breaths (in through your nose, out through your mouth) activate your parasympathetic system, slowing your heart rate and reducing tension.

• Mindfulness and meditation: Even a few minutes of present-moment awareness can help rebalance your system, reducing anxiety and improving focus.

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and then relax different muscle groups to release physical tension and signal safety to your body.

• Movement and exercise: Brisk walking, yoga, or gentle stretching can help discharge excess energy and bring you back to your “window of tolerance.”

• Grounding techniques: Notice your surroundings, feel your feet on the floor, or hold a comforting object to anchor yourself in the present moment.

• Social connection: Call a friend, share a laugh, or spend time with people who make you feel safe. Co-regulation is a powerful tool for nervous system health.

• Nervous system mapping: Regularly check in with your body and emotions. Are you feeling upregulated (anxious, tense), downregulated (numb, disconnected), or balanced? Adjust your activities accordingly.

“Each time you successfully shift your nervous system back into your window of tolerance, you’re helping to reinforce your body’s ability to self-regulate. Over time, consistently practicing these regulation techniques can contribute to improved vagal tone, which is associated with better overall health, resilience to stress, and emotional well-being.”

The Biology of Stress: Insights from Robert Sapolsky

The importance of nervous system regulation is further highlighted by the work of Dr. Robert Sapolsky, a leading authority on stress and its effects on the body and brain. Sapolsky’s decades of research—much of it observing primates—demonstrate how chronic stress elevates cortisol, damages the hippocampus (crucial for learning and memory), and accelerates aging through inflammation.

In his acclaimed book, "Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers," Sapolsky explains that while our stress response is essential for short-term survival, it becomes harmful when constantly activated in modern life. He emphasizes that much of what we experience as success or failure is not entirely within our control, advocating for humility and self-compassion. Sapolsky also highlights the power of social support, psychotherapy, and behavioral interventions to reduce stress-induced inflammation and promote healing.

Why This Matters for You

Learning to regulate your nervous system isn’t just about managing stress—it’s about unlocking your potential for resilience, focus, and connection. Research shows that people’s deepest regrets at the end of life are not about what happened to them, but about how upset they were about it. By practicing these techniques, you gain more control over your emotions and responses, leading to healthier relationships, better sleep, and a deeper sense of well-being.

As Deb Dana writes, “Polyvagal Theory gives us a language to talk about the body’s response to the world and a map to guide us toward safety and connection.

Ready to take the next step? Use at least one of the techniques above today and notice how your body and mind respond. With regular practice, you’ll build a foundation for lasting resilience and well-being.

References: For those interested in deepening their understanding, I highly recommend Deb Dana’s materials and Dr. Robert Sapolsky’s publications. These resources offer both scientific insight and practical tools for anyone seeking to become an active operator of their own nervous system.

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André Ribeiro is a Master Certified Coach (MCC) by the International Coaching Federation (ICF)-the world’s largest professional association for coaches. He has extensive training and practice in business, leadership, performance and psychology. He has founded and developed international businesses across multiple sectors, including media, finance, travel, entertainment, digital marketing, and e-commerce.

He coaches leaders to navigate the most complex decisions of their professional lives and emerge more aligned with their deepest values and what matters most with governments, armed forces, NGOs, and top companies including Accenture, Airbus, Bytedance/TikTok, Colgate-Palmolive, Google, Ferrero, Heinz, IBM, Intel, Meta, Nestle, Novartis, Nike, Pfizer, Roche, Santander, Saudi Aramco, Visa and the United Nations.