How to Read Your Debt

The story behind the numbers

When I first reached out to a debt counselor, I felt a strong urge to close my eyes and never look at the numbers splayed out in sheet after sheet on the table.

It all felt too big and terrifying to face. How had I gotten so deep into debt that I couldn’t even keep track of it all? I was an educated business owner, yet here I was, talking to someone who encouraged me to look closely at each line item. After a deep breath, I dove in.

And I discovered something surprising; I didn’t feel scared anymore.

Instead, I got interested. These numbers outlined a different me than the one I saw in the mirror each day. This was a woman trying too hard, doing too much, and working herself to death.

All it took was massive bankruptcy and a debt professional for me to see her.

What my debt told me

I’d always believed in bucking societal norms. Why should I care what my conservative, Midwest friends and family wanted? I was meant to live a life that gave the status quo the middle finger as I galloped past on my freshly broken mare.

Yet, the numbers in front of me told a completely different story.

Here, in sheet after sheet, was proof that I cared far too much what others thought of me. All my flashy purchases weren’t for me, they were for people around me to look at in hopes they would hear each item’s message, that I was successful, a leader, a hardworking, no-days-off hustler who made a lot of money. The fancy cars, the dinners out, the dream home, and all the rest showed me what I really cared about.

No, I was not a devil-may-care cowgirl riding through the desert on the road less travelled, but a slave to hustle culture who felt desperate to out-earn her colleagues.

It was a tough truth to swallow, but once it went down, I came out cured. I stopped thinking so much about what I wanted and focused on what I needed. That was the best part of going broke; I had a deep reckoning with myself and what kept me sane, healthy, and moving forward.

When you’re broke, the minimal amount of money in your bank account makes a lot of decisions for you. It also makes you scrappy.

Once we were back to zero, my partner P. and I no longer had room to overspend. We banished credit cards and loans from our lives and focused on a cash-only system. That meant we had to look for alternatives to buying like borrowing, growing, and creating, all of which made our lives a lot better.

Today, we live within our means and with an eye toward the near future to keep us from overspending when we get a windfall.

We’re not perfect and we still make a point to learn from our spending habits, but our relationship with our money is significantly better today than ever before. We don’t stress over it, even when we travel, and that’s a huge step forward.

Your debt = data

When you take the time to sit down and look at what you owe, do it through the lens of data collection.

Remember, your debt is the story of your relationship with money. Think about each purchase within the context of the day you made that decision, how you felt, your situation, and your emotional wellbeing. We almost always make big purchases thanks to a change in our financial and personal lives; one almost never happens without the other.

Money touches every part of our lives, so we can’t over-compartmentalize our funds.

Everything you buy has a motive behind it, even if it’s just hunger. And yes, hunger is a huge driver for purchases! But so is depression, happiness, urgency, and all the other things you feel throughout the day.

I hope you’ll stop and go over your debt with a neutral person, preferably a professional, who can walk you through what you owe and how to possibly pay it off.

More importantly, I want you to understand that your debt is not a list of mistakes but rather a way to reflect on yourself and understand why you spend the way you do. If you can lift that barrier between what you owe and why you went into debt to get it, you may start to see opportunities to make things better for yourself. That could mean a new job, a downsized living situation, more scrappiness, anything at all, but it’s your chance to make a real change.

Take it from someone who’s been there - it’s worth the work.

Want to talk more about getting your debt under control?

Send me a message and I’ll connect you with debt professionals who can help you take the first steps toward a debt-free life. If you want to chat more about debt and my experience, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Debt doesn’t have to be terrifying. This can be your chance to educate yourself and learn more about your state of mind around money, something we all need.