How to Stop Letting Your Feelings Call the Shots

Are Your Emotions Running on Autopilot? Maybe you woke up feeling off, and before you knew it, that mood dictated everything—the way you interacted with your team, the energy you brought to meetings, even how you treated yourself. First, let’s acknowledge something important: this is completely normal. Our brains are wired for efficiency, and emotions naturally take the wheel when we’re not consciously guiding them.

But what if, instead of being at the mercy of your emotions, you could gently steer your day with intention—without needing to suppress or ignore how you feel?

Emotional Autopilot vs. Emotional Choice

Your emotions are not the enemy. They are signals, and messages from your body and mind. The problem isn’t feeling—it’s when we get stuck in emotional autopilot without realizing we have options.

Emotional Autopilot Mode means:

• You react instead of respond.

• Your mood determines how you engage with people.

• You get stuck in patterns that don’t serve you.

Emotional Choice Mode means:

• You notice your emotions without letting them control you.

• You consciously choose how you want to engage.

• You take actions aligned with your values, not just your mood.

How to Shift from Autopilot to Choice with Self-Compassion

Notice & Name It (Without Judgment) Before you can shift, you need awareness. Instead of criticizing yourself for how you feel, try a gentler approach:

• What emotion is running in the background right now?

• Can I acknowledge this without judgment?

Expand Around It with Kindness Instead of trying to force your emotions away, practice making room for them. Try:

• "I'm noticing stress is here. That makes sense given my day. I can allow it AND still move forward intentionally."

• "This feeling is present, and I can meet it with kindness instead of resistance."

Choose Your Emotional Anchor Ask: What emotional state do I want to lead with today?

• Confidence? Curiosity? Steadiness?

• Take a breath and embody that choice for a moment.

• Remind yourself: It’s okay if I don’t feel this perfectly—I’m just practicing coming back to it.

Small Shifts Create Big Change

You don’t have to feel perfectly regulated to make a grounded choice. But you do need to create space between feeling and action. And if you slip back into autopilot? That’s okay too—just notice, reset, and keep going. This is a practice, not a performance.

Think of everything I share in these articles as an invitation to experiment. You don’t have to take my word for it—try these ideas on, see how they feel, and notice what genuinely supports you. Give yourself a few days to explore these practices with curiosity, keeping what works and letting go of what doesn’t.