A Job Search Can Bring You Down—Here’s How to Get Back Up Again

As a career coach, one of the most frequent conversations I have with my clients is how unexpectedly tough the job search can be. There is rarely a linear path to the goal, and until that final landing there can be days, weeks, and sometimes months when it feels as though fate is entirely out of your hands. A sense of isolation and lack of structure to the day can be disorienting: What do I do with the extra time on my hands? Will the company ever call me back? Why am I not receiving an offer as quickly as my peers? Does my dream job even exist? Am I the only one who feels this way?

Whether based on a personal decision to leave an organization, an exit due to a corporate restructuring, or a long-held desire to follow the dream of a second-act career, many professionals will at some point find themselves in a protracted search. As I’ve walked with and guided my clients through this journey, I’ve seen the emotional toll an it can take.

While there are no simple fixes to the challenging emotions that can accompany an extended job search, there are a number of strategies that can help you feel more empowered and in control and keep you on track even through the roughest stretches of the journey.

Begin by knowing you are not alone and cultivate community. Most of my clients at some point face periods of frustration, exhaustion, anxiety, and doubt before they land in a new role. Knowing you are not alone in experiencing these feelings and then actively reaching out to others for support is critical to helping you stay motivated and positive. I have seen firsthand how this strategy works for my clients, and countless studies demonstrate the abundant benefits of strong social connections—from better health to better job prospects. It’s easy to retreat when things feel tough, but that’s exactly the time when we are most in need of connection. With this in mind:

•       Stay in touch with friends and family, especially those who are positive and supportive. Get out the calendar, send an email or text, and make plans.

•       Seek out partners. Find others—former colleagues, contacts from your network, or social connections—who have recently gone through or are going through a career transition. There is incredible power in sharing your stories, exchanging ideas, and motivating each other to keep moving. My clients consistently report how much relief they feel and how energized they are when they make this activity a regular part of their search.

•       Get out of the house. Change your scenery. Work from the library or a coffee shop. Locate a co-working space. Creating a routine of working outside your home can help combat feelings of isolation and boredom and create a renewed sense of focus. And while you are out and about, challenge yourself to strike up a conversation. Professor Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago has studied how even small daily interactions with others can have a profound impact on our mood and lives.

•       Give back to others. Sharing your skills and passions with others does more than promote the greater good. Research by University of Chicago Booth’s Ed O’Brien and Northwestern University’s Samantha Kassirer demonstrates that giving back to others promotes increased happiness for the giver that has sticking power over the long term, which can help reignite your feelings of motivation and drive. What do you love? What are you good at? What wisdom can you share? Use these answers to volunteer for a cause that is meaningful to you. To find opportunities in your area, check out your school’s alumni relations website, professional associations aligned with your industry, or organizations like idealist.org and the Taproot Foundation.

•       Use online communities such as LinkedIn for more than just locating job postings. Write a blog post; respond to others’ posts and milestones; read articles that keep you connected to national, world, and industry events that impact your target job. Stretch your thinking, generate ideas for interviews, and boost your digital footprint, increasing your visibility and brand to recruiters and others who are searching for your talent.

•       Consult a professional. Even a few sessions talking with a coach or counselor can help get you through a rough patch and back on track. This is especially true if you feel stuck for longer than a few weeks. The International Coach Federation and Psychology Today can help you locate professionals in your area.

Be intentional in creating positive emotions. When caught up in the lows of an extended job search, it’s also easy to lose sight of the progress you’ve made. And this is not surprising. We have wired into our DNA the tendency to focus more on what is going wrong than on what is going right. Referred to as the negativity bias, this voice in our heads that once helped ensure our survival can today function as a driver of self-criticism. And while there is plenty to be gained from evaluating your performance and striving to improve, what frequently happens during the low periods of an extended search is a pattern of negative self-talk, which saps your confidence, resolve, drive, energy, and hope. Try practicing intentional acts of positivity instead, even (especially) if they don’t come naturally; it will help keep the inner critic at bay and pay dividends in renewed confidence and productivity.

•     Remember your successes. One of the tips I give my clients is to actively and consistently engage in recalling their strengths and wins. What obstacles you have overcome? What are some of the key accomplishments you created for your organization, team, or yourself? What are you most proud of in your career? Don’t just think about these ideas. Put pen to paper and include details using the Problem, Action, and Result (PAR) format. This exercise will help you focus on the positive and also prepare you for interviews at the same time.

•     Process your feelings by journaling (or using morning pages, developed by artist and writer Julia Cameron). Taking the time to write about your emotions, experiences, and ideas can help you manage difficult feelings, as well as spark creative thinking, increase productivity, and help improve leadership skills. You’ll feel more balanced, and you’ll be prepared with your best and freshest ideas for networking conversations and interviews.

•     Keep a gratitude list. If journaling or other forms of expressive writing are not your preferred methods of processing, opt for a gratitude list. Research demonstrates that this small act—documenting things we are thankful for over the course of a day or a week—can help minimize anxiety, cultivate deeper feelings of hopefulness, and increase emotions of wellbeing. The University of California Berkley’s Greater Good resource offers tips for how to get started along with Thanx4, an online journal that contains 10- and 21-day gratitude challenges that you can use on your own or share with a group.

•     Focus on your action plan for the search and take micro-steps when needed. Having a strong strategy and action plan for the search is a key to success. However, on down days it’s easy to go off-script and find yourself poring through online job postings for hours at a time or setting incredible goals like reaching out to 100 contacts a week. Don’t mistake toil for productivity. At the start of each day, set one to three key goals based on your plan. When tasks seem overwhelming, which is common when you’re feeling down, use the power of micro-goals, in which you break each task down into small, easily accomplished sub-steps and then focus on the sense of empowerment that comes with checking those things off your list.

Finally, when it comes to the toughest days of your job search, remember that this is just one season of your life. And that each step you take—with courage, determination, optimism, a community of support, and the ability to reflect but keep looking forward—is moving you closer to your goal.

Kim Herrera is a career and leadership coach who applies 20 years of coaching and development experience to provide support to executive level professionals seeking to make a significant change in their work lives. She specializes in assisting individuals in identifying new career paths, securing internal upward mobility, or refining their leadership style. Her work draws from an appreciative inquiry, strengths-based model of change, rooted in a results-focused approach. Client industries she specializes in include: management consulting, banking/financial services, non-profit management, entrepreneurship, CPG, and manufacturing/industrials.

Learn more at www.kcherreracoaching.com