Keep That Same Energy: If Your Team Is Tripping, Check Your Energy

This week, I was walking my dog, Michael Jackson, through the streets of Downtown LA. He’s a 7-year-old rescue, full of quirks and stubbornness. Sometimes he pulls. Sometimes he freezes. Sometimes he’s in his own world—especially since he likes to scavenge for discarded chicken bones and then look sad when the inevitable diarrhea comes. (SMH.)

But I noticed something: when I slowed down, breathed, and walked with calm confidence—he matched me. His behavior shifted without me yanking the leash or raising my voice. He simply mirrored the energy I carried.

And it hit me: that’s leadership.

I can’t take full credit for this tactic (thank you, Cesar Millan—The Dog Whisperer). But it’s also the professional version of something we already know in the culture: keep that same energy. People match presence more than they obey commands.

How Leaders Really Influence Behavior

Employees don’t change because you add more policies or bark louder instructions. They change because they feel your presence.

I noticed it again at brunch this weekend at Bottega Louie (a mid restaurant—good vibes, mediocre food, but I won’t get into it). The place was slammed. I braced myself for rushed, uneven service.

Instead, our server was phenomenal—patient, positive, even offering to swap my cocktail if I didn’t like it. And then her manager walked over. Same attitude. Same spirit. The whole thing clicked: the behavior of leaders is reflected in their employees.

• Model calm under pressure → they learn resilience.

• Lead with empathy → they respond with trust.

• Embody accountability → they hold themselves to higher standards.

On the flip side—if you carry stress, fear, or ego, your team mirrors that too.

The truth is, people are influenced by leaders not through management, but through energetic alignment.

Healing Over Managing

I see it all the time: unit leaders talking about employees like they’re “problems.”

“Why can’t they just act right?” “I’m tired of how they behave.”

The problem with those words—even behind closed doors—is they shift our energy. Humans are more sensitive than we admit. We’re not as poker-faced as we think. Once you’ve spoken your truest feelings, they leak out in tone, posture, decisions. People feel it.

It’s like narrating a story: once you’ve described a character, the reader can’t unsee them that way. Employees pick up on it immediately. They know when you’re faking.

Now imagine shifting those words. Imagine choosing to speak about employees as worthy of grace. Imagine showing up the way you wish they would.

• Managers focus on behavior as a problem to fix.

• Healing leaders focus on culture as a space to transform.

And when the culture heals, behavior follows.

So the question isn’t: “How do I make my team perform?” The question is: “What energy am I bringing into the room?”

Because leadership isn’t about micromanaging outcomes. It’s about becoming the kind of person people want to follow—and becoming the kind of person people want to be.

My dear readers, we must heal ourselves to be good leaders. We must heal our own behaviors. We must influence our employees not just with what we say, but with what we embody.

As Solange would say, we show them the way to the show.

Michael Jackson still tests me on our walks. But every time I show up better, so does he. That’s leadership. That’s life.

He's a good dog.

Be Healed.

Dr. Golden