Lead to Win - How to Play to Win in Leadership

How ‘Safe to Great’ Connects to the ‘Care to Dare’ Matrix

Leadership isn’t just a role—it’s a mindset. And more often than we realize, our internal mental habits determine whether we unlock potential or inadvertently hold it back.

In my book Safe to Great, I explore the psychology behind two primary leadership mindsets: the Protective Mindset and the Growth Mindset. This inner lens not only shapes how we respond to stress and uncertainty—it influences how we lead, relate, and make decisions every day.

So how does this connect to George Kohlrieser’s Care to Dare model of leadership?

Very directly.

The Link Between Inner Mindsets and Outer Behaviors

Kohlrieser’s 4-quadrant leadership matrix is based on two dimensions:

• Caring: Providing psychological safety and emotional support
• Daring: Challenging others, encouraging risk-taking and stretch

These two axes create four leadership styles:

1. Play to Win – High Caring + High Daring
2. Play Not to Lose – High Caring + Low Daring
3. Play to Dominate – Low Caring + High Daring
4. Play to Avoid – Low Caring + Low Daring

What I’ve found in my own work is that three of these quadrants perfectly map to the three types of Protective Mindset I define in Safe to Great:

1. The Competitive–Controlling Mindset → Play to Dominate

This is the Hippo Position in Safe to Great—driven by a need to stay on top, stay in control, and avoid vulnerability at all costs. Leaders in this mindset operate with high daring but low caring. They take risks, push for results, but don’t provide the emotional safety others need to grow with them. They often confuse intensity with effectiveness—and over time, their teams burn out or check out.

2. The Compliant–Complacent Mindset → Play Not to Lose

This mindset appears supportive, even nurturing—but underneath lies a fear of rocking the boat. It’s about keeping things safe and stable, even if that means avoiding tough conversations or necessary change. Leaders here are high on caring but low on daring. The result? A culture that stagnates, where potential is never fully realized. Intentions are good, but impact is limited.

3. The Critical–Skeptical Mindset → Play to Avoid

This is the mindset of retreat—withdrawn, disconnected, and focused on what can go wrong. Leaders operating from this position show low caring and low daring. They may rationalize their detachment as “objectivity” or “realism,” but in practice, they create environments where innovation and trust wither. These leaders often don’t even realize they’ve checked out—because self-protection feels like pragmatism.

The Growth Mindset: Where Caring Meets Daring

True leadership transformation happens in the Play to Win quadrant—the only space not shaped by a Protective Mindset. This is where the Growth Mindset lives.

Leaders in this space have the emotional capacity to both care deeply and challenge directly. They provide safety while fostering stretch. They serve as secure bases—people from whom others can confidently explore, risk, fail, and grow.

And importantly: this doesn’t just happen by accident. It begins by becoming aware of the protective patterns within ourselves—and doing the inner work to move beyond them.

Bringing It Together: A Unified Map

Here’s how the two models align:

Final Thought:

Leadership is an outer game that starts with an inner mindset. Until we understand which protective mindset we fall into under pressure, we can’t fully unlock our potential—or the potential of those we lead.

The good news? Every protective pattern is adaptive. It once served you. But to lead from “Safe to Great,” we have to outgrow it.

So, which quadrant are you leading from today?

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