Leaders: are you making it easy for people to challenge you?

This article, and many more, is available here on my personal blog.

Many leaders will say they like challenge.

Then, when challenged, many leaders act as if challenge were an irritant, a chore or even a threat.

Some will get defensive, some will gently explain why the challenger is wrong – perhaps even interrupting the challenger to do so – and some will show their irritation that someone has dared waste their time by making them explain again why the leader is right.

If leadership is about how we influence, inspire and empower others, reacting in any of the above ways is terrible leadership.

Challenge can be annoying, it can be unhelpful, it can be ill-informed or passive aggressive, it can be poorly delivered, badly phrased or badly timed … but it’s always a huge opportunity.

Here are three reasons why challenge – even a bad challenge – is always good news for the leader, and three simple things leaders should always try to do when challenged.

Why challenge is always an opportunity for leaders

First, we can showcase that challenge is accepted and welcome in our teams, and that it’s a safe space to challenge.

Even if the challenge is poorly worded, badly delivered and perhaps even just plain wrong, it doesn’t matter, good for them for speaking up, and we can welcome it and reinforce it as positive behaviour.

Second, it is a big opportunity to communicate better.

Third, it is a big opportunity to check our thinking.

Perhaps we’re wrong, perhaps we missed something, perhaps we haven’t seen it from their point of view, perhaps we are broadly correct but there is something in the way we’re communicating that’s triggering people to respond negatively. A challenge is a great opportunity to be sure we’re getting it right.

What leaders can do when challenged

First, say thanks, and mean it.

Imagine a leader you have nervously challenged saying “thank you for that challenge, I really appreciate it, not always easy to do, but it really helps me check my thinking …” – if we hear something like that, we are likely to feel more engaged and inspired, and feel empowered to challenge again.

Second, be curious.

If someone is disagreeing with us, even if we are pretty sure they’re wrong, we can pause and listen, let them f***ing finish, and say something like, “… I hadn’t seen it from that point of view, that’s really helpful, let me check I’ve fully understood your point …” or “… that’s really helpful, I had a similar view at first, and let me explain why I changed my mind, then you can tell me if I’ve convinced you …“

Third, encourage others to challenge.

If we then say, “challenge helps me, it takes the pressure of me to be right at all the time! So please feel free to speak up now or message me later, I will do my best to engage positively with your challenge.”

But ... there comes a point when challenge has to stop because the decision is made, and we need to move on.

In many cases, there will be phases of implementation and refinement, and as we encounter things we didn’t expect, we will inevitably have to tweak things that don’t quite click … so although we’re no longer wanting challenge on the decision itself (too late!), we need people to feel empowered to speak up about about implementation and refinement issues … so having laid the groundwork of creating a safe space, we should encourage the focus to shift into these areas.

If leadership is about how we influence, inspire and empower others, these kinds of responses will go a long way to help us be better leaders.

This article, and many more, is available here on my personal blog.