Leadership balance. Disappointing people at the right pace is part of the job.

I recently stumbled upon a curious phrase in a book that wasn’t even about leadership: “Leadership is about disappointing people at the rate they can absorb.” Honestly, it stopped me cold. Disappointing people? Isn’t leadership about inspiring action, lifting others up, and rallying teams around compelling visions?

Intrigued and a little skeptical, I dug deeper. It turns out the idea originated from two Harvard scholars, Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky. They spotlighted a crucial yet often overlooked aspect of leadership: the necessity of making tough, sometimes unpopular decisions for the greater good.

Think about it. When was the last time you faced a challenging decision, knowing it might disappoint or frustrate some team members? If you're anything like me, it’s probably pretty recent. The key insight here isn't avoiding these decisions, it’s pacing them thoughtfully. Great leaders intuitively balance accountability and empathy, nudging their teams forward without overwhelming them.

It reminded me of my early days as a leader when I tried to please everyone. (Spoiler alert: that didn’t end well!) I learned quickly that effective leadership isn't about unanimous approval but clarity, courage, and sometimes, controlled disappointment.

Here’s the reality check: If no one's ever disappointed by your decisions, you're likely sidestepping the tough calls essential for growth. But if your team lives in constant disappointment, you might be sprinting too fast, missing celebrations of small wins, or facing deeper cultural disconnects.

Funny enough, this message reached me precisely when I needed it most, like when your GPS finally kicks in after you’ve taken two wrong turns. Leadership can be lonely. Without peers or mentors sharing the load, you risk exhausting yourself with relentless "what-ifs," second-guessing decisions, and experiencing unnecessary stress.

My advice? Find your support crew. Whether it's a peer group, your leadership team, a coach, or trusted friends, lean on others who've walked similar paths. Just because you're leading doesn't mean you stop needing emotional support. In fact, you'll probably need it more.

I'd love your insights: How do you handle disappointment in your leadership role? How do you help your team accept, adjust, and grow through challenging times?

Let’s soar, don't settle!